897. S & M

S & M
Metallica
1999

Tracks
CD 1:

1. The Ecstasy Of Gold
2. The Call Of The Ktulu
3. Master Of Puppets
4. Of Wolf And Man
5. The Thing That Should Not Be
6. Fuel
7. The Memory Remains
8. No Leaf Clover
9. Hero Of The Day
10. Devil's Dance
11. Bleeding Me

CD 2:

1. Nothing Else Matters
2. Until It Sleeps
3. For Whom The Bell Tolls
4. Human
5. Wherever I May Roam
6. Outlaw Torn
7. Sad But True
8. One
9. Enter Sandman
10. Battery

Another concert album, which means over two hours of Metallica. Either music was really dreadful in 1999, or the List is choosing to punish me for getting this far. It's like a final level in a video game, where you have to defeat all the enemies you've had along the way. I thought we were done with Metallica but I guess not.

Metallica is accompanied by an orchestra for this concert. It felt like they called it a day after the first few tracks, and I forgot all about them until the band acknowledged them at the end. I don't really like recordings of concerts anyway, unless it's part of a larger story, like how you could hear people heckling Bob Dylan.

Avoid if possible. Make it possible.

RATING: 2/5

821. Roots

Roots
Sepultura
1996

Tracks
1. Roots Bloody Roots
2. Attitude
3. Cut Throat
4. Ratamahatta
5. Breed Apart
6. Straighthate
7. Spit
8. Lookaway
9. Dusted
10. Born Stubborn
11. Jasco
12. Itsari
13. Ambush
14. Endangered Species
15. Dictatorshit
16. Canyon Jam

What did I do to deserve this? I'm a pretty good person who keeps her head down. I never talked loudly during movies, back when going to the movies was still a thing. I don't honk my horn at people driving, even when I should and not doing so is dangerous for both of us. I recycle when it is entirely convenient for me. All I'm trying to say is, I shouldn't have to put up with so much metal.

I really just don't enjoy this style of music. Towards the middle, it started to sound a little more Brazilian, which at least was a little variation. But there was still so much screaming. I could do without the screaming.

Another entirely skippable metal album to throw on the dung heap. 

RATING: 1/5

707. Metallica (The Black Album)

Metallica (The Black Album)

Metallica

1991

Tracks

1. Enter Sandman
2. Sad But True
3. Holier Than Thou
4. The Unforgiven
5. Wherever I May Roam
6. Don't Tread On Me
7. Through The Never
8. Nothing Else Matters
9. Of Wolf And Man
10. The God That Failed
11. My Friend Of Misery
12. The Struggle Within

Yet another Metallica offering. I never feel like there is an evolution of sound; to me this feels exactly like the previous Metallica album on this List and I hated that as well.

It's no secret now that I am not a heavy metal fan. I think the lyrics are at best dull and at worst, childish. "Wherever I May Roam" was fairly catchy, but not enough to redeem the rest of this album.

I can't believe Metallica has four entries on this List. I feel like if you listen to one Metallica album you've listened to all of them.

RATING: 1/5

576. Reign in Blood

Reign in Blood
Slayer
1986

Tracks
1. Angel Of Death
2. Piece By Piece
3. Necrophobic
4. Altar Of Sacrifice
5. Jesus Saves
6. Criminally Insane
7. Reborn
8. Epidemic
9. Postmortem
10. Raining Blood

The last two albums were not heavy metal, and naturally, the Listmakers have found this unacceptable. So we are once again forced to endure songs with titles like "Necrophobic" and "Jesus Saves."

Mercifully, the album is very short, so the angry, repetitive songs are not weighed down by gratuitous guitar solos (looking at you, Metallica). If music is at its core a form of emotional expression, this album is really not interested in communicating anything other than pure rage. This isn't entirely relatable to me, my emotions (and I think most people's emotions) tend to be more complicated than that.

But complicated isn't really the word I would use to describe an album like Reign in Blood.

RATING: 2/5

573. Peace Sells... But Who's Buying

Peace Sells...But Who's Buying
Megadeth
1986

Tracks
1. Wake Up Dead
2. The Conjuring
3. Peace Sells
4. Devil's Island
5. Good Mourning / Black Friday
6. Bad Omen
7. I Ain't Superstitious
8. My Last Words

Oy, more metal. As heavy metal albums show up on this list with alarming frequency, it might be fun to turn it into some kind of drinking game. But that would no doubt kill me, and I really want to live long enough to hear Taylor Swift's next album. So we must soldier on, soberly and stoically.

So this was...another metal album. It is certainly not the worst I have ever heard and at least the songs were shorter, so you know Megadeth is less self indulgent than most. Still, not my favorite genre. I can Black Sabbath and maybe some Iron Maiden. And that's it.

Next up, Bon Jovi!

RATING: 2/5

568. Master of Puppets

Master of Puppets
Metallica
1986

Tracks
1. Battery
2. Master Of Puppets
3. The Thing That Should Not Be
4. Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
5. Disposable Heroes
6. Leper Messiah
7. Orion
8. Damage Inc.

There are way too many heavy metal albums on this List. This genre has such a rigid style, that if you don't like heavy metal to begin with, you're just not going to enjoy any of these albums. Whereas, if you weren't a pop fan, I feel like the genre has a wide enough range that you could probably still identify and enjoy a few pop albums, even if you vehemently deny it to your head-banging friends. My theory as to why the List is so heavily saturated with this genre (which certainly doesn't possess mass appeal) is that the quality of metal is fairly consistent throughout the years (which is definitely not the case with other genres), so it is easy to find a decent metal album to fill in some of these musically-desolate years, like 1986. 

Which is my long winded way of saying: I hate Metallica.

Boring, repetitive, and worst of all, you can tell they take themselves much too seriously. I think they just got famous because they came up with a cool band name.  Unfortunately, this is the first of many Metallica albums on this List. 


RATING: 2/5

513. Number of the Beast

Number of the Beast
Iron Maiden
1982

Tracks
1. Invaders
2. Children Of The Damned
3. Prisoner
4. 22 Acacia Avenue
5. The Number Of The Beast
6. Run To The Hills
7. Gangland
8. Total Eclipse
9. Hallowed Be Thy Name

I am changing my icon to be a snail, as I feel like it really reflects my pace through this project.  I apologize for only averaging one album a week.  I am hoping I can increase my pace this summer (maybe to one a day even, although my eyes might be bigger than my stomach...ears).  Truth be told, the List has not been offering the strongest motivations lately (excepting Nebraska of course).

Oh, heavy metal.  I am a heavy metal racist; I can't seem to tell the different bands and albums apart.  Some I don't mind as much as others, although I think that reflects more the type of mood I am in than the quality of the music.  There's nothing distinctly intellectual in my distaste for this genre; viscerally, I just don't like it.  If you do, I envy you, as this List is probably a lot easier to get through.

Up next: Duran Duran!  This might out-eighties anything we have seen so far.

RATING: 2/5

510. Black Metal

Black Metal
Venom
1982

Tracks
1. Black Metal
2. To Hell and Back
3. Buried Alive
4. Raise the Dead
5. Teacher's Pet
6. Leave Me in Hell
7. Sacrifice
8. Heaven's on Fire
9. Countess Bathory
10. Don't Burn the Witch
11. At War with Satan

After writing a rant on my book blog and a rant on my movie blog, I thought I would complete the hate tour and complain about this album.  We are really in a bad rut with albums lately.  I hope Bruce Springsteen can save us.

So this is a shitty album, but unlike most of the shitty albums on this List, I understand why it is on here.  It's influential to a genre that I don't particularly enjoy, so I was never going to celebrate it.  Still, I thought I would find at least a little merit in this.  No such luck.  The lyrics are terrible, the songs are repetitive, and the vocalist has so absolutely no range.

Did I mention I hate this?

RATING: 1/5

482. No Sleep 'til Hammersmith

No Sleep 'til Hammersmith
Motorhead
1981

Tracks
1. Ace Of Spades
2. Stay Clean
3. Metropolis
4. Hammer
5. Iron Horse
6. No Class
7. Overkill
8. We Are The Road Crew
9. Capricorn
10. Bomber
11. Motorhead

I decided to write about this one bright and early, so I wouldn't end up forgetting.  Nothing like some heavy metal on a Sunday morning.  I felt as though I had heard this album before, but I have now come to the conclusion that if you have heard one Motorhead song you have heard them all.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as they is obviously a lot of talent behind the instruments.  Still, it does get a tad repetitive at times.  I have probably said this roughly one hundred times before, but I am not a fan of live albums.  I really don't want to capture the energy of the crowd.  I want to get away from the energy of the crowd, that's why I am listening to music at home.  I especially want to get away from heavy metal fans.  I have a feeling we wouldn't have a lot in common (for example, I had to turn off The Birds last night because I got too scared).

In any case, I am not particularly fond of this genre, but if I had to choose a favorite heavy metal band, this would probably be it.

RATING: 3/5

469. Iron Maiden

Iron Maiden
Iron Maiden
1980

Tracks
1. Prowler
2. Sanctuary
3. Remember Tomorrow
4. Running Free
5. Phantom Of The Opera
6. Transylvania
7. Strange World
8. Charlotte The Harlot
9. Iron Maiden

I was convinced that Iron Maiden and Iron Butterfly were the same band, which is probably a musical sin that some believe should be punishable by death.  I found that I much prefer Iron Maiden on all counts, except maybe when it comes to cover art.

I have always thought that heavy metal was fun, but didn't come with much substance.  I am pleased to report that a more thoughtful heavy metal does, in fact, exist.  "Remember Tomorrow" was particularly poetic.  Of course, the machoism returned with songs like "Iron Maiden" but I did enjoy the brief respites from the testosterone outpourings.

Far more melodic than I would believed from seeing the cover art.  Tomorrow: more Undertones!

RATING: 4/5

465. British Steel

British Steel

Judas Priest

1980

Tracks

1. Rapid Fire
2. Metal Gods
3. Breaking The Law
4. Grinder
5. United
6. You Don't Have To Be Old To Be Wise
7. Living After Midnight
8. Rage
9. Steeler

Is every album on this List going forward heavy metal?  Where are our quieter artists, our Joni Mitchells and Carole Kings?  I guess this is the trend now but I really wish some songwriters with a bit more talent will come along soon.

So not much else to say about this album.  We can tell from the track listing that this album is not for someone like me, who owns a "Reading is Sexy" t-shirt with a picture of Jane Austen on it.  Usually, I can find a few stanzas that I like in at least one of the songs, but no such luck here.

We are in a bit of a slump, but hopefully, we will get out of it with Group Sex, a fine solution to any problem.

RATING: 2/5

463. Ace of Spades

Ace of Spades
Motorhead
1980

Tracks
1. Ace Of Spades
2. Love Me Like A Reptile
3. Shoot You In The Back
4. Live To Win
5. Fast And Loose
6. We Are The Road Crew
7. Fire Fire
8. Jailbait
9. Dance
10. Bite The Bullet
11. Chase Is Better Than The Catch
12. Hammer

I have done a lot of posts today and only have to write about Motorhead before I am free to pursue my other hobbies, like reading and doing jigsaw puzzles.  Fellas, leave your numbers in the comments.

Once again, I wait a tad bit too long in between listening to this album and writing about it.  Forgive me if I don't go into specifics.  I am not a huge fan of heavy metal (see above regarding jigsaw puzzles) but this was actually a lot better than I expected.  I didn't feel like this band was over gimmicky, which I feared from the cover.  It was rather repetitive, but it still was an enjoyable album.

Sorry for the short review, but I am eager to be done with writing for today.

RATING: 3/5

357. 2112

2112
Rush
1976

Tracks
1. '2112': I: Overture/II: The Temples Of Syrinx/III: Discovery/IV: Presentation/V: Oracle: The Dream/VI. Soliloquy/VII. Grand Finale
2. A Passage To Bangkok 
3. The Twilight Zone 
4. Lessons 
5. Tears 
6. Something For Nothing

It's been awhile since I have posted.  I have been out of the country and since I have been back I have been bogged down by an obscene amount of work. I was only able to fit this album in by playing it while cleaning my pet chinchilla's cage.  What a fun break that was.

Aren't we past this phase yet?  Honestly when I was listening to this, I felt like I was in 1965 again (in a list sense;  I am actually a lot younger than that, despite my somewhat elderly tastes).  Anyway, the beginning of this album sounds like someone experimenting with the sound effects on a keyboard for the first time.  Ooo you can make space sounds!  Color me impressed.

After that it turned around a little and I actually enjoyed the singing, although lyrically the songs were not that impressive and nothing that we haven't seen before.

RATING: 2/5

Sorry for the short and somewhat shallow review.  Lots to do and lots to stress eat.

356. Destroyer

Destroyer
Kiss
1976

Tracks
1. Detroit Rock City 
2. King Of The Night Time World 
3. God Of Thunder 
4. Great Expectations 
5. Flaming Youth 
6. Sweet Pain 
7. Shout It Out Loud 
8. Beth 
9. Do You Love Me
10. Untitled

So you know how in a romantic comedy the woman will be convinced throughout the film that a guy is a shallow jerk?  Then she sees him play with his niece/nephew and she realizes that the jerk thing is just an act and that he is actually a really sweet guy?  That is how I felt after listening to this album.

This album starts off with completely useless sound effects.  Why would you want to start your album with sounds of what seems like a busy restaurant?  I fail to see the relevance.  Anyway, we then continue through some pretty generic hard rock tracks that sounded vaguely familiar.  This could be because all those songs tend to sound the same to me (I know that is pretty genre-ist) or because Kiss is still referenced a lot in pop culture.  For example:

Then we actually hit a pretty beautiful song called "Beth".  Finally, I recognized that Gene Simmons actually some real talent beyond dressing up in stupid outfits (which I accomplished all through high school and never became famous for) and yelling into a microphone.  It is a wonderful song and one that I highly recommend listening to.

However, after that track we get back to more generic rock music that failed to impress me. In other words, Gene put down the baby and made a terrible penis joke.  Is anyone else following this analogy?  This might only make sense to my romantic comedy obsessed mind.

RATING: 3/5

Beth:

330. Physical Graffiti

Physical Graffiti
Led Zeppelin
1975

Tracks
1. Custard Pie
2. The Rover
3. In My Time Of Dying
4. Houses Of The Holy 
5. Trampled Underfoot 
6. Kashmir
7. In The Light
8. Bron-Yr-Aur 
9. Down By The Seaside
10. Ten Years Gone
11. Night Flight
12. Wanton Song
13. Boogie With Stu
14. Black Country Woman
15. Sick Again 

I am currently lying in bed and recovering from collarbone surgery.  Although it is quite painful, it will give me a chance to listen to some more albums and watch great movies.  So let's get cracking!

By now I am quite familiar with Led Zeppelin, having listening to at least five of their albums.  While I always enjoy the ride, Led has never made it on to my iPod, nor has there been a single song that has ever really jumped out at me.  This album was no exception.

My biggest complaint with this album was the sheer length of it.  Throughout the album, I felt like they were just trying to kill some time by adding in filler tracks.

It seems like I am bashing the album.  I really did like it; the songs were catchy and well done.  Still, no song stood out for me and the whole album was just way too long.  Possibly I am being hard on the album because I am cranky and in pain.  But it's my blog so I can do what I want.

RATING: 4/5

297. Billion Dollar Babies

Billion Dollar Babies
Alice Cooper
1973

Tracks
1. Hello Hooray 
2. Raped And Freezin' 
3. Elected 
4. Billion Dollar Babies
5. Unfinished Sweet 
6. No More Mister Nice Guy 
7. Generation Landslide 
8. Sick Things 
9. Mary Ann 
10. I Love The Dead

Oh my god.  I actually liked this album.  No, not liked.  LOVED.

Before, I was a self proclaimed Alice Cooper hater.  I thought that he didn't have much talent and all he wanted to do was shock people instead of providing mindful entertainment.  However, this album rocked my world.

For starters, this album is extremely catchy.  I found myself singing along to "No More Mister Nice Guy" before I even knew the words.  Now, obviously, some of the songs are a bit creepy (just look at the track listing to see what I mean).  "I Love The Dead" is a song about necrophilia.  Just ignore that one; I really can't defend it.

This album is also a really good length.  Memorable but not overly long.  Alice Cooper has been redeemed in my book, though I still wouldn't want to come across him alone.

RATING: 5/5

P.S. "Mary Ann" was actually pretty sweet which makes up for the other creepy songs.

265. School's Out

School's Out
Alice Cooper (who, incidentally, is a guy)
1972

Tracks
1. School's Out 
2. Luney Tune 
3. Gutter Cat Vs. The Jets 
4. Street Fight 
5. Blue Turk 
6. My Stars 
7. Public Animal #9
8. Alma Mater 
9. Grande Finale

Oh my god.  I am so sick of books, movies, or albums that think that because they shock some people, that makes them works of art.  Well, newsflash: it does not take a lot of skill to surprise people.  All you have to do is take off your pants in a grocery line to get the desired reaction.  Does that make you an artist?  Absolutely not.

So since shock is the sole purpose of this album, I am not impressed.  This guy inspired Marilyn Manson.  Enough said.

I do, however, enjoy West Side Story and appreciated some of the references to it in track 3.  Still, I absolutely detest concept albums and every thing this guy is.  Just look at him:

RATING: 1/5

249. Made in Japan

Made in Japan
Deep Purple
1972

Tracks
1. Highway Star
2. Child In Time
3. Smoke On The Water
4. Mule
5. Strange Kind Of Woman
6. Lazy
7. Space Truckin'


Wow, what a fail.  I wanted to reach 250 today but have to leave for a sleepover with my sister before I can listen to 250.  SO CLOSE!!!!


Damn, I guess I will just hit that milestone tomorrow.  On to Deep Purple.  I am not a huge fan of these guys but they are in the book a lot so I guess I have to play nice.  Their "sound" is still there and pretty much the same, whether you love it or hate it.  However, these tracks are exceptionally long; "Space Truckin'" is almost twenty minutes.  That is way too long for a single track in my opinion.


A pretty fun album but if you want to check these guys out, I would go for Machine Head any day.

RATING: 3/5

244. Vol. 4

Vol. 4
Black Sabbath
1972

Tracks
1. Wheels of Confusion/The Straightener
2. Tomorrow's Dream
3. Changes
4. FX
5. Supernaut
6. Snowblind
7. Cornucopia
8. Laguna Sunrise
9. St. Vitus Dance
10. Under the Sun/Every Day Comes and Goes


Whenever people would mention that they liked heavy metal in the past, I would mention something vague about liking Black Sabbath (I did really enjoy paranoid) and they would kind of smirk, saying things like "you would like Black Sabbath".  First of all, what does that even mean?  Secondly, I didn't truly understand why it was embarrassing to like Black Sabbath.  Now I get it.


This album is just a mess.  The songwriting quality of this band has never really been strong, but this is an all time low.  Of course, they don't have a singer who can make up for the stupid lyrics so it is overall just awful. I guess I can smugly recommend their earlier works to people.  Or I could stop trying to impress a certain attractive gentleman with my horrible music taste.

RATING: 1/5

242. Machine Head

Machine Head
Deep Purple
1972

Tracks
1. Highway Star 
2. Maybe I'm A Leo
3. Pictures Of Home 
4. Never Before 
5. Smoke On The Water 
6. Lazy 
7. Space Truckin'


This has to be a quick one because I have to get some sleep.  Incidentally, I listened to this album while trying to go to sleep.  That was not one of my best plans.


This is another heavy metal album (where is Leonard Cohen when I am trying to get some rest).  We had seen Deep Purple way back at 188.  I would put a link up but I just looked back at that post and it seemed I was incredibly lazy that night and did not write a lot.  Just like tonight, actually.  And this is why I wanted to do the blog with two people!


I should probably start talking about the album since I just yawned like a snake unhinging its jaw. I was actually mildly impressed.  It was catchy and fun, if a little bit kitschy. This isn't exactly the fault of the album; it is just a bit dated.  So entertaining, yes.  But essential listening?  Nope!


RATING: 3/5