993. They Were Wrong, So We Drowned

They Were Wrong, So We Drowned
Liars
2004

Tracks
1. Broken Witch
2. Steam Rose From The Lifeless Cloak
3. There's Always Room On The Broom
4. If You're A Wizard Then Why Do You Wear Glasses?
5. We Fenced Other Houses With The Bones Of Our Own
6. They Don't Want Your Corn, They Want Your Kids
7. Read The Book That Wrote Itself
8. Hold Hands And It Will Happen Anyway
9. They Took 14 For The Rest Of Our Lives
10. Flow My Tears The Spider Said

We've haven't had much luck with the concept albums lately, but this was actually pretty fun. And a story about witches is very appropriate right now, with tomorrow being Halloween.

By the way, there are many Harry Potter subreddits devoted to answering the question posed in the fourth track. The answer we accept as headcanon is that only a trained Healer can specialize in that kind of magic. 

Sorry, my nerdiness was showing again. Moving on to the album....

This was fairly enjoyable and effective in casting a dark spell over its listener. There are way too many gimmicks and sound effects to make me want to listen to this on the reg, but I enjoyed it as a seasonal novelty.

Okay, so I'm a little scared of them. That doesn't mean my rating isn't fair.

RATING: 3/5

974. Wonderful Rainbow

Wonderful Rainbow
Lightning Bolt
2003

Tracks
1. Hello Morning
2. Assassins
3. Dracula Mountain
4. 2 Towers
5. On Fire
6. Crown of Storms
7. Longstockings
8. Wonderful Rainbow
9. 30,000 Monkies
10. Duel In the Deep

Well, they really leaned into the noise aspect of noise rock. This is just a relentless onslaught of noise, and it's difficult to even make out the vocals.

I didn't hate it, but I think I did begin to tune it out after awhile. Consequently, it did not leave the strongest impression. Still enjoyable though.

It's a very repetitive album but it still manages to entertain.

RATING: 3/5

631. Daydream Nation

Daydream Nation
Sonic Youth
1988

Tracks
1. Teen Age Riot
2. Silver Rocket
3. The Sprawl
4. 'Cross The Breeze
5. Eric's Trip
6. Total Trash
7. Hey Joni
8. Providence
9. Candle
10. Rain King
11. Kissability
12. Trilogy: a) The Wonder
13. Trilogy: b) Hyperstation
14. Trilogy: z) Eliminator Jr.

This is a difficult album to write about. Actually, all of the albums are pretty difficult to write about, because writing about music is hard, yo. But this felt like one continuous track that lasted for over an hour.

I guess this doesn't technically qualify as a concept album, but each track seemed to melt into the next one, to the point where I couldn't tell when one song ended or when one song started. I have a feeling this is one of those albums that benefits from repeated listenings. 

Tomorrow, Bjork! I can't wait. 

RATING: 4/5

597. Locust Abortion Technician

Locust Abortion Technician
Butthole Surfers
1987

Tracks
1. Sweat Loaf
2. Graveyard (1)
3. Graveyard (2)
4. Pittsburgh To Lebanon
5. Weber
6. Hay
7. Human Cannonball
8. USSA
9. O Men
10. Kuntz
11. Twenty Two Going On Twenty Three


When you lack the requisite talent to get noticed, you must resort to other devices. Which in this case involves shouting "Kuntz" over and over (because it sounds like...geddit?) and then not crediting the Thai artists you worked with. 

I guess these guys think they are really pushing the envelope because they string together a litany of all the bad words they learned at age twelve. I will give you an example of the brilliant subtlety at work here with one of the lyrics: "And if you see your mom this weekend, tell her SATAN! SATAN! SATAN!" And then "Twenty Two Going on Twenty Three" begins with a woman describing her bad dreams since she has been sexually assaulted. And ends with a creepy, helium induced baby voice. Clearly, a lot of drugs were involved in the making of this and I have no idea why us non-crazies have to endure it.

Well, every List needs a nadir, we've hit ours. If you were wondering what the Joker's favorite album is, it's this one.


RATING: 0/5

575. EVOL

EVOL
Sonic Youth
1986

Tracks
1. Tom Violence
2. Shadow of a Doubt
3. Star Power
4. In the Kingdom #19
5. Green Light
6. Death to Our Friends
7. Secret Girls
8. Marilyn Moore
9. Expressway to Yr. Skull

So even this genre's champions have to concede that the sound is more similar to noise than music, hence the label "noise rock." 

There's one Sonic Youth song I really like, "Catholic Block" but it's not on this album. This certainly wasn't the worst thing I've ever heard, but I thought it was without form and without tune.  A couple weren't so bad, but for the most part, the album was grating.

I hope you enjoyed our brief respite from heavy metal. But worry not, because Paul Simon and XTC are on the horizon.

RATING: 2/5