976. Scissor Sisters

Scissor Sisters
Scissor Sisters
2004

Tracks
1. Laura
2. Take Your Mama
3. Comfortably Numb
4. Mary
5. Lovers In The Backseat
6. Tits On The Radio
7. Filthy/Gorgeous
8. Music Is The Victim
9. Better Luck Next Time
10. It Can't Come Quickly Enough
11. Return To Oz

I hadn't heard of the Scissor Sisters, but this is a pretty cool introduction to their work. Of course, it's a tad derivative of the Bee Gees, but they could have chosen a worst band to imitate. 

There were a few songs I really liked "Comfortably Numb" but the album was a bit scattered in terms of the styles they were attempting. In some moods that might strike you as fun and varied, and in other moods, it might feel too all over the place.

We've haven't had particularly dance-y albums on the List lately, so this made for a nice change.

RATING: 4/5

712. Your Arsenal

Your Arsenal
Morrissey
1992

Tracks
1. You're Gonna Need Someone On Your Side
2. Glamorous Glue
3. We'll Let You Know
4. National Front Disco
5. Certain People I Know
6. We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful
7. You're The One For Me Fatty
8. Seasick Yet Still Docked
9. I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday
10. Tomorrow

Well, that was a mixed bag. On the one hand, some of the songs were quite catchy. On the other hand, the lyrics are a weird blend of preaching and making fun of fat people (I can hear people saying, "No, he's saying he likes fat people" which is the kind of passive aggressive douchebaggery that I've come to expect from this man). The Smiths and Morrissey are really over exposed on this List.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed songs on this album, but some of the tracks were just irritating. Like "We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful" was annoying and his nationalism is particularly grating. He might think "England is for the English" but that's not going to stop me from looting the country for custard creams whenever I'm in Europe.

Not the worst entry on the List by any means, but still mildly obnoxious.

RATING: 3/5

517. Pyromania

Pyromania
Def Leppard
1983

Tracks
1. Rock Rock (Till You Drop)
2. Photograph 
3. Stagefright 
4. Too Late For Love 
5. Die Hard The Hunter 
6. Foolin' 
7. Rock Of Ages
8. Comin' Under Fire 
9. Action Not Words 
10. Billy's Got A Gun

Well, it appears that my icon will remain as a snail, as I continue to move at that pace.  It's been a rough month and I didn't think Def Leppard would be much help.  My mood has been much more Nico/Fiona Apple.

That's not to say that this isn't a good album; it had a distinct Aerosmith/AC/DC vibe with slightly more intelligent lyrics and slightly less memorable hooks.  Some of the lyrics were downright sweet, although that adjective might make Def Leppard fans cringe.  Actually, ignore that.  I just googled this album and apparently Taylor Swift did a cover of "Photograph" with Def Leppard.  So maybe any pretensions their fans have are gone by now.

So a decent album and a vast improvement from Duck Rock.

RATING: 3/5

296. Next

Next
The Sensational Alex Harvey Band
1973

Tracks
1. Swampsnake
2. Gang Bang
3. Faith Healer
4. Giddy-Up-A-Ding-Dong 
5. Next
6. Vambo Marble Eye
7. Last of the Teenage Idols

This album was really hit and miss.  At times, I absolutely hated it.  Then there were those few good tracks that I could see putting on my iPod.  Then I hated it again.

I actually expected this album to be awful.  I had never heard of Alex Harvey and these track names are completely ridiculous.  Maybe that is partly why I am giving this album a semi-positive review.  At least it exceeded my expectations.

I listened to this album pretty intently and the lyrics are nothing to get excited about.  First of all, a lot these songs are covers.  In addition, I found the song "Gang Bang" pretty upsetting (can you guess why?).  A lot of people think that track is hilarious.  Either I am a total buzz kill or they are sick.  Probably both of these things.

However, some of these songs are pretty fun.  "Faith Healer" is actually pretty catchy and so is "Giddy-Up-A-Ding-Dong".  I do have a problem, though, with this being listed as an album you must listen to before you die.  I am pretty sure I could have lived without it.  In fact, I think everyone has been living without it and is doing just fine.

RATING: 3/5

286. Mott

Mott
Mott The Hoople (wtf does that mean?)
1973

Tracks
1. All The Way From Memphis
2. Whizz Kidd
3. Hymn For The Dudes
4. Honaloochie Boogie
5. Violence
6. Drivin' Sister
7. Ballad Of Mott The Hoople (26th March 1972 Zurich) 
8. I'm A Cadillac/El Camino Doloroso
9. I Wish I Was Your Mother

Now, this is a strange one.  I think they were trying to imitate David Bowie.  It reminded me of when I listened to the Monkees and you could tell they were trying their best to sound like The Beatles.

All in all, Bowie is not the worst person they could try to model themselves after.  I mean, if they were trying to imitate Frank Zappa, I would have to pitch myself off of the highest building I could find.  Still, I think they should try to find their own "sound"; they were very talented but lacked originality.

Don't get me wrong, this album is entertaining.   But I am sure there were tons of copycats during this era trying to capitalize on Bowie's success.  Do they really deserve a place on the list?

RATING: 3/5

273. Aladdin Sane

Aladdin Sane
David Bowie
1973

Tracks
1. Watch That Man 
2. Aladdin Sane 
3. Drive In Saturday 
4. Panic In Detroit 
5. Cracked Actor 
6. Time 
7. Prettiest Star
8. Let's Spend The Night Together 
9. Jean Genie 
10. Lady Grinning Soul

This is the  third David Bowie on the list but you can see his influence is spreading to other artists during this time period.  Still, no one is as weird as Bowie is and you can definitely see that on this album.

In my opinion, this wasn't his best effort.  I simply thought it was rather...meh.  He is still be crazy and loud but it is simply not that impressive to be shocking.  I was hoping for more catchy songs (I did like "Jean Jeanie") but instead I just got loud, chaotic messes.  Oh well.  We have plenty more Bowie albums coming up.

RATING: 2/5

267. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders From Mars

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders From Mars
David Bowie
1972

Tracks
1. Five Years 
2. Soul Love 
3. Moonage Daydream 
4. Starman 
5. It Ain't Easy 
6. Lady Stardust
7. Star 
8. Hang on to Yourself 
9. Ziggy Stardust 
10. Suffragette City 
11. Rock & Roll Suicide 

I listened to about half of this album, stopped, and then didn't finish until five days later.  I don't know why it didn't interest me; I am usually quite the Bowie fan despite his weirdness.  Still, this this album was missing something that was definitely present in his other albums.

Don't get me wrong; this is not a bad album.  I guess David Bowie had got me expecting the best.  It is simply not as interesting or original as Hunky Dory was, though it was much rockier. Is that a term?

Anyway, check it out but don't expect to be wowed.

RATING: 3/5

264. Roxy Music

Roxy Music
Roxy Music
1972

Tracks
1. Re-make/Re-model 
2. Ladytron 
3. If There Is Something
4. Virginia Plain
5. 2 H.B. 
6. The Bob (Medley) 
7. Chance Meeting 
8. Would You Believe? 
9. Sea Breezes 
10. Bitters End

I was listening to this album while getting ready for work.  Since this album was the background music for me poking myself in the eye with a mascara wand, feeling fat, and trying to smooth down frizz, you might think I am bias while reviewing this album.  I am strongly convinced, however, I would hate it anyway.

This album is a real clusterfuck.  There is acapella, space sounds, synthesizers, and, if I am not mistaken, didgeridoos.  I really don't think this counts as music.  In fact, it saddens me that it does.  These are just random jarring sounds!!! Where is the beauty?  I am going to go be disillusioned with life now.

RATING: 1/5

258. The Slider

The Slider
T-Rex
1972

Tracks
1. Metal Guru
2. Mystic Lady
3. Rock On
4. Slider
5. Baby Boomerang
6. Spaceball Ricochet
7. Buick Mackane
8. Telegram Sam
9. Rabbit Fighter
10. Baby Strange
11. Ballrooms Of Mars
12. Chariot Choogle
13. Main Man


More glam rock, which is always slightly frightening.  Besides the ridiculous costumes, it makes me feel like they are trying to distract me from the fact that they may not be that talented.  However, I was pleasantly surprised with this album.


I gave the previous T-Rex album four stars but I am feeling a little less generous with this one.  It technically isn't worse; it is just more of the same.  Luckily for them, more of the same for this band is actually quite good, just not original.  I found myself singing along to a couple songs like "Metal Guru"; others got on my nerves like "Rock On".  Still a good album, but certainly not their best work and I am not really sure it deserves a place on the list.


RATING: 3/5

251. Transformer

Transformer
Lou Reed
1972

Tracks
1. Vicious
2. Andy's Chest
3. Perfect Day
4. Hangin' 'Round
5. Walk On The Wild Side
6. Make Up
7. Satellite Of Love
8. Wagon Wheel
9. New York Telephone Conversation
10. I'm So Free
11. Goodnight Ladies


I have surgery tomorrow that I am really nervous about.  All I want to do is get my mind off it, read my book, and listen to some good music.  Maybe have some cupcakes too.


This album has a big personality, which you have to respect, whether you like it or not.  I happened to like it.  Once David Bowie got popular, he concentrated his efforts on making his friends popular, like Lou Reed.  You can definitely hear Bowie's influence in this album.  This may seem surprising from the cover, but Lou actually has a really calming voice which I need right now.


His songs were wild and fun.  Definitely something you should check out.

RATING: 5/5

248. Slayed?

Slayed?
Slade
1972

Tracks
1. How D'you Ride
2. Whole World's Goin' Crazee
3. Look At Last Nite
4. I Won't Let It 'Appen Agen
5. Move Over
6. Gudbuy T'Jane
7. Gudbuy Gudbuy
8. Mama Weer All Crazee Now
9. I Don' Mind
10. Let The Good Times Roll/Feel So Fine


Oh, lord.  This "cutesy" misspellings these guys are doing is unbelievably annoying, not only to type but to look at.  Just a complete massacre of the English language.  The former copy editor in me is dying inside.


I was, however, kind of digging this album.  These guys are really extreme and loud so I do not suggest listening to them if you are nursing a headache.  The songs, though, are strangely infectious, I found myself wanting to scream with them.  Still, I liked them while simultaneously loathing myself.  You can tell from every aspect of this album that these guys must be incredibly obnoxious.  I felt like they were trying to be extremely loud just to distract people from the fact that the lyrics basically made no sense.

For awhile, they succeeded with me.

RATING: 2/5 

239. Electric Warrior

Electric Warrior
T-Rex
1971

Tracks
1. Mambo Sun
2. Cosmic Dancer
3. Jeepster
4. Monolith
5. Lean Woman Blues
6. Get It On
7. Planet Queen
8. Girl
9. Motivator
10. Life's A Gas
11. Rip Off


This album does not make any sense and that is what makes it fun!


After all this hippies with anti war messages (I am a pacifist myself but these guys never offer any solutions; the term "armchair analyst" comes to mind), it was nice to get a little nonsense.  Having a musician in this book who doesn't think he knows everything is actually quite the refreshing change.  Lyrics like "i'm like a beggar in the sand with the sky in my hand" are nonsensical but it is okay, because the music is entertaining.  This guy is exactly what the doctor ordered.


RATING: 4/5


Is the song "Get It On" like in a commercial or something?