612. I'm Your Man

I'm Your Man
Leonard Cohen
1988

Tracks
1. First We Take Manhattan
2. Ain't No Cure For Love
3. Everybody Knows
4. I'm Your Man
5. Take This Waltz
6. Jazz Police
7. I Can't Forget
8. Tower Of Song

It's rare that an album on this List is boring. Even the ones I don't like are interesting, some disturbingly so. But I found myself being dulled into a stupor as Cohen plodded through these songs. 

I don't recall much about the previous Cohen albums on the List (and a brief glance at the entries made me cringe) but I don't remember him having the annoying background singers last time. Maybe he did. But I don't think it worked here. In fact, I would venture to say that he sounded bored as well, or else I am just projecting. But maybe he was trying to achieve a synthier 80s sound this time around, and wasn't too pleased with the results. 

Skippable, especially "Jazz Police."

RATING: 2/5

611. If I Should Fall From Grace With God

If I Should Fall From Grace With God
The Pogues
1988

Tracks
1. If I Should Fall From Grace With God
2. Turkish Song Of The Damned
3. Bottle Of Smoke
4. Fairytale Of New York
5. Metropolis
6. Thousands Are Sailing
7. South Australia
8. Fiesta
9. Medley: The Recruiting Sergeant/The Rocky Road To Dublin/Galway Races
10. Lullaby Of London
11. The Battle March Medley
12. Sit Down By The Fire
13. The Broad Majestic Shannon
14. Worms

We are done with 1987! Truthfully, I am ready to be done with this entire decade but we have quite a few albums to go before that happens. I am just excited to see what the 90s bring.  I mean, a decade that created yours truly must really be capable of some masterpieces.

I read that this album contained one of the most popular Christmas songs of all time. I think this must be a British thing, I had never heard this song. In the US, they just play Baby It's Cold Outside a billion times in lieu of diversity. Actually, that song, Fairytale of New York, turned out to be one my least favorite songs on the album. 

It's hard not to get swept up in this music, it feels like Jack Dawson might beckon you to dance at any moment. It's probably not something I would want to listen to everyday, but an interesting novelty.

RATING: 3/5

610. The Hardline According to Terence Trent D'Arby

The Hardline According to Terence Trent D'Arby
Trent D'Arby
1987

Tracks
1. If You All Get To Heaven
2. If You Let Me Stay
3. Wishing Well
4. I'll Never Turn My Back On You (Father's Words)
5. Dance Little Sister
6. Seven More Days
7. Let's Go Forward
8. Rain
9. Sign Your Name
10. As Yet Untitled
11. Who's Lovin' You

Where has this guy been hiding? I had never heard of Terence Trent D'Arby, and I guess he is going by a different stage name now (Sananda Francesco Maitreya). He changed his moniker in 1995 after a series of dreams. He thought it meant rebirth in Sanskrit, but it actually means possessed of happiness/loving. As far as mistranslations go, that could have been a lot worse.

Trent D'Arby has the range of Michael Jackson, without all the annoying vocal tics that come along with that voice. I got a very strong Sam Cooke vibe from these tracks, which is always welcome. 

What makes it even more impressive is that Trent D'Arby was only 24 when he made this. Damn.

RATING: 4/5

609. Joshua Tree

Joshua Tree
U2
1987

Tracks
1. Where The Streets Have No Name
2. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
3. With Or Without You
4. Bullet The Blue Sky
5. Running To Stand Still
6. Red Hill Mining Town
7. In God's Country
8. Trip Through Your Wires
9. One Tree Hill
10. Exit
11. Mothers Of The Disappeared


Remember when U2 stuck us all with their album without permission in 2014? That's what passed for "weird" back then. Anyway, I was always struck by the arrogance and self-importance of such a gesture. I expected to be in awe of those qualities again with this album, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I mean, it was still self-important, but the music was enjoyable all the same. I don't want to listen to a solo Brian Eno album. Ever. Again. But I love it when he produces albums, and he doesn't disappoint here. I read that they ordered the tracks by favorite to least favorite. I actually agreed with their choices, meaning that the album gets worse the longer you listen to it.

So an uneven album, but the decent bits make up for the clunkier tracks.

RATING: 4/5

608. Actually

Actually
The Pet Shop Boys
1987

Tracks
1. One More Chance
2. What Have I Done to Deserve This?
3. Shopping
4. Rent
5. Hit Music
6. It Couldn't Happen Here
7. It's a Sin
8. I Want to Wake Up
9. Heart
10. King's Cross

Interesting fact, when I was in middle school, I briefly acquired the nickname "Actually" for being a Hermione Granger-esque nightmare. Anyway, let's see if the Pet Shop Boys can out-annoy eleven-year-old Amanda.

They can! Okay, maybe this wasn't so bad, but it was a lot of forgettable dance pop tracks. There were a couple of good songs hidden here, including "Rent" and "It's a Sin." I was surprised by the lyrical quality of the tracks; it almost felt out of place with the music. 

Overall, a disposable album but pretty harmless.

RATING: 3/5

607. Bad

Bad
Michael Jackson
1987

Tracks
1. Bad
2. Way You Make Me Feel
3. Speed Demon
4. Liberian Girl
5. Just Good Friends
6. Another Part Of Me
7. Man In The Mirror
8. I Just Can't Stop Loving You
9. Dirty Diana
10. Smooth Criminal
11. Leave Me Alone

I remember listening to "Man in the Mirror" on the school bus in the morning in middle school, vowing that I too, would change my ways (I never did, by the way, I still like reading and ignoring everybody). It's still a great song, making it a rarity on this album.

So this is an improvement from Thriller, I suppose, although the track "Dirty Diana" feels like a new low. It's a song about a dirty groupie and is an angry jab at women in general. Of course, I have grown accustomed to that in heavy metal music, but I expect better from my pop brothers. But then there are great songs like "Smooth Criminal" that sound fresh and unexpected even now, at the end of the world.

I can't get over all the annoying noises that come out of this man's mouth (I know I am setting myself up for a burn here, but I'll allow it to stand). I wish he was able to tolerate a pause or beat without having to do his high pitched scoffing. And in general, he really bums me out and I wish he had received the help he so clearly needed.

RATING: 3/5

606. Calenture

Calenture
The Triffids
1987

Tracks
1. Bury Me Deep In Love
2. Kelly's Blues
3. A Trick Of The Light
4. Hometown Farewell Kiss
5. Unmade Love
6. Open For You
7. Holy Water
8. Blinder By The Hour
9. Vagabond Holes
10. Jerdacuttup Man
11. Calenture
12. Save What You Can


Well this is certainly an album that grows on you. I wasn't so impressed by "Bury Me Deep in Love" which felt very 80s. There are a couple of other tracks here that are just too firmly entrenched in the 80s, but the other songs make up for it by being refreshing and catchy.

I can forgive a lot when your band takes its name from a John Wyndham novel, which in this case means excusing some cheesy 80s songs. The lyrics are thoughtful and I enjoyed the vocals.

But don't relax just yet. I have a feeling the next album is Bad.

RATING: 4/5

605. Sister

Sister
Sonic Youth
1987

Tracks
1. Schizophrenia
2. I Got A Catholic Block
3. Beauty Lies In The Eye
4. Stereo Sanctity
5. Pipeline Kill Time
6. Tuff Gnarl
7. Pacific Coast Highway 
8. Hot Wire My Heart
9. Cotton Crown
10. White Cross

We've had a rough run of albums lately, and while this was certainly not as bad as its predecessors, I still don't feel like the streak of shaky albums has officially ended yet. And probably won't for awhile, since we have Michael Jackson on the horizon.

I don't like noise rock/pop, where you're supposed to divine something from the feedback. I feel like it's just this wall of sound that stops you from getting to the heart of the album. Sister is still a good album underneath all that, but I wish you didn't have to dig past all the unnecessary noise to get to the decent stuff, which in this case is tracks like "Hard Wire My Heart."

Not exactly my cup of tea, but I would defend its place on the List. 

RATING: 3/5

604. Scum

Scum
Napalm Death
1987

Tracks
1. Multinational Corporations
2. Instinct Of Survival
3. Kill
4. Scum
5. Caught... In A Dream
6. Polluted Minds
7. Sacrificed
8. Siege Of Power
9. Control
10. Born On Your Knees
11. Human Garbage
12. You Suffer
13. Life
14. Prison Without Walls
15. Point Of No Return
16. Negative Approach
17. Success
18. Deceiver
19. CS
20. Parasites
21. Pseudo Youth
22. Divine Death
23. As The Machine Rolls On
24. Common Enemy
25. Moral Crusade
26. Stigmatized
27. MAD
28. Dragnet

Despite that this album has 28 tracks, it is only around 33 minutes, with some of the songs being about 20 seconds long. While it is obviously a relief that this is album is on the shorter side, it's stupid and jarring.

Jarring is the word of this album. Of course, it intends to be jarring and to be as unpleasant as possible. So well done? We could get in an argument about what art is, but I don't think it is as simple as getting a reaction, any reaction. You have my annoyance and disgust, fine. What are you going to do with it?

Creating something beautiful in this world is much harder than creating something ugly. Guess which path Napalm Death chooses!

RATING: 1/5

603. Opus Dei

Opus Dei
Laibach
1987

Tracks
1. Leben Heist Leben
2. Geburt Einer Nation
3. Leben Tod
4. F I A T
5. Opus Dei
6. Trans National
7. How The West Was Won
8. Great Seal

This is some Nazi nonsense right here, I have no idea why the List would include an album that has a swastika on its cover. Now, I understand that the swastika made of axes on the cover was actually designed by an anti Nazi artist, and that this band is ostensibly a parody of fascism. If it makes you uncomfortable, you just don't "get it" or you are, in fact, the fascist. 

I have no idea why anybody find pleasure listening to these industrial, militant songs, all of which sound like they could be the first dance at an orc wedding. Some were in German, but I occasionally caught a line in English being croaked. Let's just say I wasn't blown away by the lyrical quality.

I suppose fans of this album would lament that it went over my head. Hey, I'm fine with that, as long as it doesn't touch me.

RATING: 1/5

602. Shaka Zulu

Shaka Zulu
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
1987

Tracks
1. Unomathemba
2. Hello My Baby
3. At Golgotha
4. King of Kings
5. Lomhlaba Kawunoni
6. How Long?
7. Ikhaya Lamaqhawe
8. Yibo Labo
9. Rain, Rain Beautiful Rain
10. Wawusho Kubani?


After Graceland, Ladysmith Black Mambazo received some much deserved recognition, and created this album, which, for whatever reason, they decided to name after a homicidal maniac/monarch. 

So this is a very good album, and a soothing way to begin my Monday. I ended up looking up the English translation of the lyrics to the songs, which isn't actually a necessary step in enjoying an album, but I can't help myself. For the most part, it's easy to just let the music sweep you along without knowing the meaning. 

Paul Simon produced this album, so you know it is going to be a high rating. I don't see many good albums on the horizon, so let's enjoy this while we can.

RATING: 4/5

601. Darklands

Darklands
The Jesus and Mary Chain
1987

Tracks
1. Darklands
2. Deep One Perfect Morning
3. Happy When It Rains
4. Down On Me
5. Nine Million Rainy Days
6. April Skies
7. Fall
8. Cherry Came Too
9. On The Wall
10. About You

I came into this album with low expectations, as I did not enjoy whatever the hell Psychocandy was (their previous entry on the List). However, I really enjoyed this! The key is going in with low expectations, which the List has taught me to do very, very well.

I think some people might complain that this is derivative, or doesn't bring anything new to the table. But not every entry on this List has to be an unholy union of genres that have no business being mixed together. This was a solid alternative rock album, with interesting lyrics that didn't need embellishment. And by "embellishment" I mean the elements of noise rock that TJaMC were so hellbent on using last time.

400 more albums to go!

RATING: 4/5

600. Appetite for Destruction

Appetite for Destruction
Guns N Roses
1987

Tracks
1. Welcome To The Jungle
2. It's So Easy
3. Nightrain
4. Out Ta Get Me
5. Mr. Brownstone
6. Paradise City
7. My Michelle
8. Think About You
9. Sweet Child O' Mine
10. You're Crazy
11. Anything Goes
12. Rocket Queen

Happy 600! It is always exciting to reach a milestone of a project, but I am really relishing It under quarantine. It's nice to feel like you're making something out of this time, even if it just putting a dent in a list. 

This album was a pleasant surprise. I am not saying it was brilliant, but it was much more fun than I expected it to be. There were some great hooks and recognizable tracks on this album, with the biggest one being "Paradise City." Some of the lesser known tracks weren't so bad either; I enjoyed "It's So Easy." I have heard people complain about Axl's voice, which can get grating, particularly in "My Michelle." Still, I don't think it is nearly as annoying as Prince's vocals, so it gets a pass.

I am finding the tough guy posturing particularly cringey as of late, and this album was certainly guilty of that in places. A couple of worthy tracks saves this from the cheese pile.

RATING: 3/5

599. Strangeways, Here We Come

Strangeways Here We Come
The Smiths
1987

Tracks
1. Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours
2. I Started Something I Couldn't Finish
3. Death Of A Disco Dancer
4. Girlfriend In A Coma
5. Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before
6. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
7. Unhappy Birthday
8. Paint A Vulgar Picture
9. Death At One's Elbow
10. I Won't Share You


I am doubling up on albums today, because I like hitting milestones like Joss Whedon likes killing off my favorite characters. I am also completing a 30 day yoga challenge today, so it seemed like a good day to reach 600 as well. We are also saying goodbye to the Smiths today and I will reluctantly admit I am bummed.

Something about this album was different than their previous entries on the List, but I am struggling to put it into words (which, for a writer, is a tickle-me-pink kind of feeling). I suppose it felt more ethereal and less frantic, like they all took a deep, calming breath before recording the first track. The lyrics were more interested in telling intimate stories than making persuasive arguments, which is a definite improvement from Meat is Murder. 

My philosophy is that it is better to finish strong than start strong, and the Smiths certainly had a strong finish. Now, I'll just pop some aspirin and get to our next album, Appetite for Destruction.

RATING: 4/5

598. The New Tango

The New Tango
Astor Piazzolla and Gary Burton
1987

Tracks
1. Milonga Is Coming
2. Vibraphonissimo
3. Little Italy 1930
4. Nuevo Tango
5. Laura's Dream
6. Operation Tango
7. Muerta del Angel

After yesterday's debacle, I was prepared to heap praise on any album that did not feature a baby voice or a clown. This certainly isn't my favorite style of music, but it was a decent chaser after Trauma Thursday. 

This genre is known as "nuevo tango" which I guess means new tango, or tango music that you could never dance to. That's okay, though, I still enjoyed this, even though I typically complain about instrumental-only tracks. I feel like it really captured the feel of Argentina. Of course, I've never been to Argentina, but hey, good music takes you places you've never been and can't go to because of the coronavirus. 

This is an odd album for the List, it seems like it actually belongs on the 1001 Classical Recordings List (which is like this List, but fancy). But I am still glad I heard it. 

RATING: 3/5

597. Locust Abortion Technician

Locust Abortion Technician
Butthole Surfers
1987

Tracks
1. Sweat Loaf
2. Graveyard (1)
3. Graveyard (2)
4. Pittsburgh To Lebanon
5. Weber
6. Hay
7. Human Cannonball
8. USSA
9. O Men
10. Kuntz
11. Twenty Two Going On Twenty Three


When you lack the requisite talent to get noticed, you must resort to other devices. Which in this case involves shouting "Kuntz" over and over (because it sounds like...geddit?) and then not crediting the Thai artists you worked with. 

I guess these guys think they are really pushing the envelope because they string together a litany of all the bad words they learned at age twelve. I will give you an example of the brilliant subtlety at work here with one of the lyrics: "And if you see your mom this weekend, tell her SATAN! SATAN! SATAN!" And then "Twenty Two Going on Twenty Three" begins with a woman describing her bad dreams since she has been sexually assaulted. And ends with a creepy, helium induced baby voice. Clearly, a lot of drugs were involved in the making of this and I have no idea why us non-crazies have to endure it.

Well, every List needs a nadir, we've hit ours. If you were wondering what the Joker's favorite album is, it's this one.


RATING: 0/5

596. Warehouse: Songs and Stories

Warehouse: Songs and Stories
Husker Du
1987

Tracks
1. These Important Years
2. Charity Chastity Prudence And Hope
3. Standing In The Rain
4. Back From Somewhere
5. Ice Cold Ice
6. You're A Soldier
7. Could You Be The One
8. Too Much Spice
9. Friend You've Got To Fall
10. She Floated Away
11. Bed Of Nails
12. Tell You Why Tomorrow
13. It's Not Peculiar
14. Actual Condition
15. No Reservations
16. Turn It Around
17. She's A Woman
18. Up In The Air
19. You Can Live At Home

Like many bands, this one had a problem with infighting. Songwriters Bob Mould and Greg Hart were feuding during the recording, and Mould famously told Hart that he would never have more than half the songs on a Husker Du album. He was right, and moreover, I enjoyed Mould's songs much more than Hart's songs.

There actually aren't any horrible tracks on this album, but Mould's songs are much catchier. They actually worked really well together; it's a shame that they let egos, drugs, etc. get in the way. 

4 stars, even though the album photo looks like it was taken at a Real Housewives reunion.

RATING: 4/5

595. Faith

Faith
George Michael
1987

Tracks
1. Faith
2. Father Figure
3. I Want Your Sex (Parts 1 & 2)
4. One More Try
5. Hard Day
6. Hand To Mouth
7. Look At Your Hands
8. Monkey
9. Kissing A Fool
10. Hard Day (Shep Pettibone Remix)
11. A Last Request (I Want Your Sex) (Part 3)

After Sisters of Mercy, I would have welcomed a three star album. Instead, we get a solid five star entry. Thank Zeus for George Michael.

This is a fantastic album that is wonderfully strange in some places. I looked up who the female singer in "Hard Day" was only to discover that it was George Michael. I guess every male pop star in the 1980s has a feminine alter ego in their repertoire. I usually don't like ballads so much, but "One More Try" was genuinely moving. 

 The only thing preventing this album from being 5 stars is a pesky little song called "Monkey." Still a great album, but skip that track.

RATING: 4/5

594. Floodland

Floodland
Sisters of Mercy
1987

Tracks
1. Dominion/Mother Russia
2. Flood I
3. Lucretia My Reflection
4. 1959
5. This Corrosion
6. Flood II
7. Driven Like The Snow
8. Never Land

I was feeling rather gloomy about starting my Monday, with the rain pouring down and no end in sight for quarantine. I was really looking for something uplifting here, but the name of this band tipped me off that I was looking in the wrong place. It sounds like a Catholic school, which is not something I associate with happiness and serenity. 

I am not a fan of gothic rock. It's just so over the top and I prefer subtlety in my music. There is nothing subtle about the operatic vocals and eleven minute long tracks. I am finding that when music has to distract you so much with its style, it probably means it doesn't have much substance.

Profoundly skippable. Hopefully George Michael can improve things tomorrow.

RATING: 2/5

593. Music for the Masses

Music for the Masses
Depeche Mode
1987

Tracks
1. Never Let Me Down Again
2. Things You Said
3. Strangelove
4. Sacred
5. Little 15
6. Behind The Wheel
7. I Want You Now
8. To Have And To Hold
9. Nothing
10. Pimpf

I had a delightful Sunday morning reading in bed (Complicity by Iain Banks) and listening to Depeche Mode. An odd pairing, but it turned out to work. Much like Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger fanfiction.

I feel like I associate the 80s with a distinctive sound that we are now (thankfully) moving away from. This was a synthpop album but with very little cheese. In fact, the lyrics were surprisingly thoughtful. I didn't know what to make of the title, I feel like music people in general have contempt for the "masses" so wasn't sure if we were going to be served trashy trash, but this didn't feel trashy. I guess it's more of a joke, because this isn't a very commercial album, and they don't believe the masses have the cerebral ability to "get" this album. In any case, it's worthy of an eye roll.

I hope everybody's Easter was filled with more chocolate than mine was. 

RATING: 4/5

592. Electric

Electric
The Cult
1987

Tracks
1. Wildflower
2. Peace Dog
3. Li'l Devil
4. Aphrodisiac Jacket
5. Electric Ocean
6. Bad Fun
7. King Country Man
8. Love Removal Machine
9. Born to be Wild
10. Outlaw
11. Memphis Hip Shake

There is really not much to differentiate this album from countless other hard rock albums we have listened to on this List. That doesn't necessarily mean it's bad, but it is not one that is going to stick with me for a long time.

It also had the hard rock tendency to pad run times way too much with gratuitous guitar solos and screamed/sung "yeah!"s. I think they were just imitating earlier, better bands and failed to do anything different with the material. 

So meh. Hopefully something more memorable comes along to close us out on the 500s. 

RATING: 3/5

591. Sign O' the Times

Sign O' the Times
Prince
1987

Tracks
1. Sign 'O' the Times
2. Play in the Sunshine
3. Housequake
4. Ballad of Dorothy Parker
5. It
6. Starfish and Coffee
7. Slow Love
8. Hot Thing
9. Forever in My Life
10. U Got the Look
11. If I Was Your Girlfriend
12. Strange Relationship
13. I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man
14. Cross
15. It's Gonna Be a Beautiful Night
16. Adore

I have been unappreciative of Prince in the past, because I hate his Wilhelm scream and atrocious grammar. But then I saw that there was a song on this album called "The Ballad of Dorothy Parker" and was thrilled. Unfortunately, Prince actually had no idea who she was, and just liked the sound of the name. His Dorothy Parker is a waitress with a sharp wit. Man, he was really in tantalizingly close reach of the point.

So can I still like this album, despite what a letdown that was? Of course, but I will grumpy about it. I loved the instrumentals of this album, but Prince still had a tendency to have "episodes" of nonsensically vocal runs that get on my nerves. And I really don't think this had to be a whopping 80 minutes long. 

There will some good tracks on this album, but I'm still not a fan and will not be attending any of his hologram's shows, thank you very much. 

RATING: 3/5

590. Document

Document
REM
1987

Tracks
1. Finest Worksong
2. Welcome To The Occupation
3. Exhuming McCarthy
4. Disturbance At The Heron House
5. Strange
6. It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
7. One I Love
8. Fireplace
9. Lightnin' Hopkins
10. King Of Birds
11. Oddfellows Local 151

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. Actually, I feel a bit queasy about the whole thing but that's not as catchy of a song title. For real though, I wish I had known about that song earlier. It is my official quarantine jam.

There's not a bad track on this album; it is teeming with catchy hooks and intelligent lyrics. Many people seem to think REM eventually sold out, or at least starting taking themselves seriously enough that it rubbed people the wrong way. Thankfully, I don't see any of that here. But we have another REM album coming up soon, so we will be able to compare.

Another great album. I think we are on a roll. 


RATING: 4/5