568. Master of Puppets

Master of Puppets
Metallica
1986

Tracks
1. Battery
2. Master Of Puppets
3. The Thing That Should Not Be
4. Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
5. Disposable Heroes
6. Leper Messiah
7. Orion
8. Damage Inc.

There are way too many heavy metal albums on this List. This genre has such a rigid style, that if you don't like heavy metal to begin with, you're just not going to enjoy any of these albums. Whereas, if you weren't a pop fan, I feel like the genre has a wide enough range that you could probably still identify and enjoy a few pop albums, even if you vehemently deny it to your head-banging friends. My theory as to why the List is so heavily saturated with this genre (which certainly doesn't possess mass appeal) is that the quality of metal is fairly consistent throughout the years (which is definitely not the case with other genres), so it is easy to find a decent metal album to fill in some of these musically-desolate years, like 1986. 

Which is my long winded way of saying: I hate Metallica.

Boring, repetitive, and worst of all, you can tell they take themselves much too seriously. I think they just got famous because they came up with a cool band name.  Unfortunately, this is the first of many Metallica albums on this List. 


RATING: 2/5

567. Licensed to Ill

Licensed to Ill
Beastie Boys
1986

Tracks
1. Rhymin & Stealin
2. The New Style
3. She's Crafty
4. Posse In Effect
5. Slow Ride
6. Girls
7. (You Gotta ) Fight For Your Right (To Party)
8. No Sleep Till Brooklyn
9. Paul Revere
10. Hold It Now, Hit It
11. Brass Monkey
12. Slow And Low
13. Time To Get Ill

I recently participated in a bar trivia night. A question was posed about a musical trio. One guy said the Beastie Boys, everybody else thought it was Rush, and I bleated feebly that I had no fucking idea. Anyway, we went with Rush, but the answer was Beastie Boys. Maybe if I had listened to this album before I could have lent more support to Will. Sorry, Will.

It's refreshing to listen to an album on this List that doesn't take itself quite so seriously. I am a huge Hamilton fan, so it was interesting to listen to this album; you can see its influence clearly in tracks like "Aaron Burr Sir" and "Winter's Ball." 

Anyway, a fun, silly album that was a welcome change of pace.

RATING: 4/5

566. Planet Rock

Planet Rock
Afrika Bambaataa and the Soul Sonic Force
1986

Tracks
1. Planet Rock
2. Looking for the Perfect Beat
3. Renegades of Funk
4. Frantic Situation
5. Who You Funkin' With?
6. Go Go Pop
7. They Made a Mistake

The Listmakers have once again lied to us, by saying that this List does not contain any compilation albums. I'm far too accustomed to the Listmakers' abuses to feel this blow too heavily.

...

Okay, it's possible I'm being a touch dramatic, because this wasn't actually that bad.

Old school hip hop isn't my genre of choice, but I did enjoy "Who You Funkin' With?" (even if they did steal my catchphrase). Sounds pretty outdated at this point, but still a fun listen.

RATING: 3/5

565. Blood and Chocolate

Blood and Chocolate
Elvis Costello and the Attractions
1986

Tracks
1. Uncomplicated
2. I Hope You're Happy Now
3. Tokyo Storm Warning
4. Home Is Anywhere You Hang Your Head
5. I Want You
6. Honey Are You Straight Or Are You Blind
7. Blue Chair
8. Battered Old Bird
9. Crimes Of Paris
10. Poor Napoleon
11. Next Time Round

Scritti Politti might have had me wondering why I even decided to undertake this project in the first place, but then Elvis Costello comes along and reminds me. Not that I was familiar with his work before, but it becomes extra special when you are hear it in the midst of all the other shit that was coming out at the same time.

This is an angrier Elvis than his previous albums, but thankfully, it is never cringey. His bitterness comes naturally, which is a perk for us, even if it doesn't bode well for his mental health. 

It's rare to listen to an artist this versatile, so this album was a real treat. And like a bear stuffing her fat face before winter, I must store up on good music. Metallica is coming up.

RATING: 5/5

564. Cupid and Psyche '85

Cupid and Psyche '85
Scritti Politti
1985

Tracks
1. Word Girl
2. Small Talk
3. Absolute
4. Little Knowledge
5. Don't Work That Hard
6. Perfect Way
7. Lover To Fall
8. Wood Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin)
9. Hypnotize

This was a very generic 80s pop album. It is likely so generic because it was influential and I've heard a lot of shitty imitations of it. But it hasn't aged well, and bands like Aha have, so I feel justified in giving this a low rating.

Also, what an annoying name for a band. Our suffering was worth it, though, because Elvis Costello is next!

RATING: 2/5

563. Don't Stand Me Down

Don't Stand Me Down
Dexy's Midnight Runners
1985

Tracks
1. Kevin Rowland's 13th Time
2. Occasional Flicker
3. This is What She's Like
4. My National Pride (Formerly Knowledge of Beauty)
5. One of Those Things
6. Reminisce (part 2)
7. I Love You (Listen to This)
8. Waltz

If you love Dexy's Midnight Runners, you will love this album. Probably an obvious point, but who wouldn't want to listen to their favorite band have a casual jam session that is interspersed with chit chat and banter? For the rest of us, who are fairly indifferent to this band, it is merely okay.

This album has two very good tracks: "This is What She's Like" and "My National Pride." "My National Pride" wasn't even in the original version, but it was released later as part of a director's cut. Of course, because self indulgence is a timeless vice, each song on this album is roughly ten minutes long. Unnecessary, and not at all shocking that this was a commercial flop.

But I did enjoy parts of it, and here on this blog we take what we can get. It's our official slogan.

RATING: 3/5

562. Picture Book

Picture Book
Simply Red
1985

Tracks
1. Come to My Aid
2. Sad Old Red
3. Look at You Now
4. Heaven
5. Jericho
6. Money's Too Tight (To Mention)
7. Holding Back the Years
8. Red Box
9. No Direction
10. Picture Book

The 1001 Album book is probably the riskiest to take on out of the entire series. Sure, a movie or book can be bad, but then you can walk away from it and it's over. But you listen to a terrible album and the songs can be stuck in your head for days. 

That's exactly what happened with "Jericho" and "Money's Too Tight." Thankfully, I have some experience drowning out the voices in my head. Also, a very creepy album cover.

A ginger soul album. The thing we were all clamoring for. And yet, it wasn't good. How is that possible?

RATING: 2/5

561. Low Life

Low Life
New Order
1985

Tracks
1. Love Vigilantes
2. Perfect Kiss
3. This Time of Night
4. Sunrise
5. Elegia
6. Sooner Than You Think
7. Subculture
8. Face Up

It's strange how different this is from Joy Division. I feel like music can't help but reflect the souls of its creators; Ian Curtis was really dragging that band down. Mood wise, of course, not talent wise. Or maybe they decided after Ian died that the world didn't need any more depression fodder.

Instead the world needs more synthpop, which is the general consensus of every 80s group. Actually, this is much better than most 80s music, so well done.

I've heard bad things about the next album, so gird your loins. 

RATING: 4/5

560. Psychocandy

Psychocandy
The Jesus and Mary Chain
1985

Tracks
1. Just Like Honey
2. Living End
3. Taste The Floor
4. Hardest Walk
5. Cut Dead
6. In A Hole
7. Taste Of Cindy
8. Never Understand
9. Inside Me
10. Sowing Seeds
11. My Little Underground
12. You Trip Me Up
13. Something's Wrong
14. It's So Hard

I haven't posted on this blog in awhile, because the only music I have been listening to lately has been Taylor Swift's new album. Have we not reached a place free of judgment yet? Anyway, I listened to this album on YouTube, and YouTube kept interjecting the playlist with Taylor Swift songs. I think it was self defense.

This album falls under the category of "noise pop." Basically it means they play fairly normal pop music, only they drown it out with feedback and background noise. This is supposed to enhance the experience in some way, I suppose, but I am at a loss to say how.

It's almost as if I declared I was no longer going to proofread anything I published and expected to be praised for that choice. Actually, I haven't proofread a lot of my posts and I expect a lot of praise. Point to The Jesus and Mary Chain.

RATING: 2/5

559. Rain Dogs

Rain Dogs
Tom Waits
1985

Tracks
1. Singapore 
2. Clap Hands 
3. Cemetery Polka 
4. Jockey Full Of Bourbon 
5. Tango Till They're Sore 
6. Big Black Mariah 
7. Diamonds And Gold 
8. Hang Down Your Head 
9. Time 
10. Rain Dogs 
11. Midtown 
12. 9th & Hennepin 
13. Gun Street Girl 
14. Union Square 
15. Blind Love 
16. Walking Spanish 
17. Downtown Train 
18. Bride Of Rain Dog 
19. Anywhere I Lay My Head

It's pretty hard not to like Tom Waits. There is something intriguing about his music that invites further scrutiny no matter how many times you listen to him. 

In terms of lyrical quality, it's hard to outdo Waits. It will definitely take me a few more listens to understand the meaning of the some of these tracks. According to the great man himself, every song should have a few sailors in it. Which is totally what a Rain Dog is, right?

So slightly confused, but satisfied. 

RATING: 4/5

558. Meat is Murder

Meat is Murder
The Smiths
1985

Tracks
1. Headmaster Ritual
2. Rusholme Ruffians
3. I Want The One I Can't Have
4. What She Said
5. That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore
6. How Soon Is Now
7. Nowhere Fast
8. Well I Wonder
9. Barbarism Begins At Home
10. Meat Is Murder

I am pretty sure liking the Smiths was teen television code for being a cool girl, rather than liking Britney Spears like those other useless skanks. I have to confess though, that because I'm not a cool girl (or a useless skank), I never really given the Smiths a chance before. I assumed this album was right up my alley, though, because I am also a self righteous vegetarian.

But...pass. My least favorite song was definitely the title track, which was a lecture crudely disguised as a song. In fact, the entire album was rather holier than thou, which is not the attitude I would have expected from the post punk scene. 

Overall, very skippable.  A Disney movie would be more effective in converting someone to vegetarianism.

RATING: 3/5

557. Hounds of Love

Hounds of Love
Kate Bush
1985

Tracks
1. Running Up That Hill
2. Hounds of Love
3. Big Sky
4. Mother Stands for Comfort
5. Cloudbusting
6. And Dream of Sheep
7. Under Ice
8. Waking the Witch
9. Watching You Without Me
10. Jig of Life
11. Hello Earth
12. Morning Fog

You all know by now how delighted I am whenever the Listmakers include a female artist among its sweaty, penis saturated ranks. I'm especially pleased when it is somebody as amazing as Kate Bush.

Because we just had a Suzanne Vega album, I am tempted to compare the two. I would say Suzanne Vega excels in terms of lyrical quality, but there is something fairly mesmerizing about Kate's voice. I wouldn't exactly label this album as commercial friendly (particularly the latter half) but I am quite content skipping over mainstream eighties music in favor of this. 

Next up is The Smiths. Liking the Smiths is movie code for being a cool young person. I can't wait!

RATING: 4/5

556. Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash

Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash
The Pogues
1985

Tracks
1. Sick Bed of Cuchulainn
2. Old Main Drag
3. Wild Cats of Kilkenny
4. I'm a Man You Don't Meet Every Day
5. Pair of Brown Eyes
6. Sally Maclennane
7. Pistol for Paddy Garcia
8. Dirty Old Town
9. Jesse James
10. Navigator
11. Billy's Bones
12. Gentleman Soldier
13. Band Played Waltzing Matilda

Apparently, the name of the album is a paraphrased quote of Winston Churchill, when he said something along the lines of: "don't talk to me about naval tradition. Nothing but rum, sodomies, prayers, and the lash." If only that man were alive during the Twitter age, we would have privy to some sick burns. 

Anyway, if you haven't heard this album, imagine what it would sound like if Long John Silver, Black Dog, and Jack Sparrow formed a band. I saw on Wikipedia that this was considered a folk punk album, which seems strange to me. I can't envision this album in a context other than a tavern named The Jolly Rogers or The Flying Dutchman.

It might sound like I am hating on the album, but I am not. I did actually enjoy it quite a bit as a novelty. It's amazing that the punk attitude can be applied to any genre. Maybe if they added punk elements to bongo rock they could really get that genre off the ground (#foreverhauntedbythebongos).

RATING: 3/5

555. Suzanne Vega

Suzanne Vega
Suzanne Vega
1985

Tracks
1. Cracking
2. Freeze Tag
3. Marlene On The Wall
4. Small Blue Thing
5. Straight Lines
6. Undertow
7. Some Journey
8. The Queen & The Soldier
9. Knight Moves
10. Neighborhood Girls

I was already gleeful at the idea of a female solo artist, which is a true rarity in these parts. But this turned out to be one of the best albums I have ever heard, and no, I am not just saying that because of the genitals we share.

The standout track is undeniably "The Queen and The Soldier" which is powerful and tells a damn good story. And what more could you ask of a folk album? My other favorite was "Marlene On The Wall," a profound introspection that I have pretty much had on repeat since listening to this album. Compared to some of the more vapid albums I have been subjected to lately on this List, this was a welcome change. After this, we are back to sodomy (and Rum and the Lash).

Simply beautiful.

RATING: 5/5

554. Atomizer

Atomizer
Big Black
1986

Tracks
1. Jordan, Minnesota
2. Passing Complexion
3. Big Money
4. Kerosene
5. Bad Houses
6. Fists of Love
7. Stinking Drunk
8. Bazooka Joe
9. Strange Things
10. Cables 

The Book made a mistake with this album, as it is from 1986, and we are still stuck in hopeless quagmire of 1985. The listmakers frequently make me feel inferior, with their snooty essays and insistence that bongos can carry an entire album. So I must savor this victory over them. 

Okay, the moment has been properly basked in. So the first thought I had about this album was that it wasn't music, it was just loud noise. Fully aware that this was the sentiment of a grumpy old man, I did some research and found that this album was tied to the birth of "noise rock," so apparently I wasn't too off in my reaction. 

So here's hoping the next album actually contains notes, and not the industrial sounds that aliens would listen to on their commutes.

RATING: 2/5

553. Fear and Whiskey

Fear and Whiskey
Mekons
1985

Tracks
1. Chivalry
2. Trouble Down South
3. Hard To Be Human Again
4. Darkness And Doubt
5. Psycho Cupid (Danceband On The Edge Of Time)
6. Flitcraft
7. Country
8. Abernant 1984/5
9. Last Dance
10. Lost Highway

Alt-country apparently begins with this album, although any time you cite an album as the beginning of some movement, some angry entity is summoned and cites three albums before that which ACTUALLY started the movement, and then they spit on you for good measure. 

Anyway, it's not a genre I am well-acquainted with, so it's hard to say at this point if I don't like the genre or I just didn't enjoy this album. I like "Darkness and Doubt." It would be a good song to discover a dead body to.

Is it racist that the idea of a group of pasty Englishmen releasing a country album makes me giggle? I hope they try rap next.

RATING: 2/5

552. Steve McQueen

Steve McQueen
Prefab Sprout
1985

Tracks
1. Faron Young
2. Bonny
3. Appetite
4. When Love Breaks Down
5. Goodbye Lucille #1
6. Hallelujah
7. Moving The River
8. Horsin' Around
9. Desire As
10. Blueberry Pies
11. When The Angels

I had never heard of this band before, but the band name is just the kind of British nonsense that I love. Now that the pop movement in the 80s has been effectively soaked in cheese, we have bands coming along that are attempting more "serious" pop. I suspect that Prefab Sprout is one of these bands.

So I laughed in places that I probably wasn't supposed to (I'm sorry, but parts of "Appetite" were too much for me). Still, I enjoyed this album for the most part, although I am not sure any of the tunes will stick with me.

There are some pretty bad albums coming up, so let's savor the small victories.

RATING: 3/5

551. Brothers in Arms

Brothers in Arms
Dire Straits
1985

Tracks
1. So Far Away 
2. Money For Nothing 
3. Walk Of Life 
4. Your Latest Trick 
5. Why Worry 
6. Ride Across The River 
7. Man's Too Strong 
8. One World 
9. Brothers In Arms

I think I would have resented the listmakers if they hadn't included this album on The List, as it was extremely popular and at least warrants the same amount of space in The Book as the Butthole Surfers. On the other hand, I really would have preferred not having to listen to this, not being the biggest Dire Straits fan.

So it was...okay I guess. I found most of the songs to be forgettable although I did recognize snatches of them from pop culture. For some reason it seems to me that the band is trying to be edgier than it was, adding a layer of cringe that's slightest thicker than the usual 80s helping.

However, as I frequently point out, the bar on this blog is rather low (there was a bongo album for Pete Townshend's sake). So it still gets three stars.

RATING: 3/5

550. Songs From the Big Chair

Songs From the Big Chair
Tears For Fears
1985



Tracks
1. Shout 
2. The Working Hour 
3. Everybody Wants To Rule The World 
4. Mothers Talk 
5. I Believe 
6. Broken 
7. Head Over Heels / Broken 
8. Listen

80s pop is now in full swing and I have to say, this is a huge step up from A-ha (although don't get me wrong, A-ha is really fun). This album has obviously passed the test of time, as most of these tracks are instantly recognizable.

The album just feels more mature than A-ha, like it is interested in more than providing a catchy tune. I am not sure it always succeeds, given the lyrical quality, but hey, at least it tries.

Someday, I'll be able to sing "Everybody Wants to Rule The World" without starting out too low, thus becoming inaudible by the word "world." Today is not that day.

RATING: 4/5

549. Hunting High and Low

Hunting High and Low
A-Ha
1985

Tracks
1. Take On Me
2. Train Of Thought
3. Hunting High And Low
4. Blue Sky
5. Living A Boy's Adventures Tale
6. Sun Always Shines On TV
7. And You Tell Me
8. Love Is Reason
9. I Dream Myself Alive
10. Here I Stand And Face The Rain

I find it difficult to identify musical trends based on this List, as the editors like to choose albums like, say, Abdullah Ibrahim's Water from an Ancient Well which a total of 52 people alive have heard, as opposed to the mainstream trash that is constantly clogging up radio airwaves. I am not necessarily saying that's a bad thing, but I do like it when we come across something that is iconic of its time.

We are all pretty familiar with "Take On Me" and while that is the best song on the album, there are a couple of other gems on the track listing. "Hunting High and Low" and "Love Is Reason" are both quite good. 

You don't get more 80s than this and I'm loving the vibes. Next up, we are getting into Dire Straits. 

RATING: 4/5