921. The Marshall Mathers LP

The Marshall Mathers LP
Eminem
2000

Tracks
1. Public Service Announcement 2000
2. Kill You
3. Stan
4. Paul
5. Who Knew
6. Steve Berman
7. The Way I Am
8. The Real Slim Shady
9. Remember Me?
10. I'm Back
11. Marshall Mathers
12. Ken Kaniff
13. Drug Ballad
14. Amityville
15. Bitch Please II
16. Kim
17. Under The Influence
18. Criminal

Man, if I had a dollar for every time a man has told me to "get a sense of humor" I might be able to afford one. Once again, Eminem is trying to shock us, by being as homophobic, disgusting, and misogynistic as possible.

And, once again, I have to point out that there is nothing awe-inspiring or courageous about spouting hate and inciting violence. Eminem takes on different characters in this album. I don't blame him, I wouldn't want to be Eminem either. 

I can sort of understand why his first album was included, as he's a pretty big name, but did we really need to hear from him twice? I think I got the point the first time.

RATING: 1/5

887. Slipknot

Slipknot
Slipknot
1999

Tracks
1. 742617000027
2. Sic
3. Eyeless
4. Wait and Bleed
5. Surfacing
6. Spit It Out
7. Tattered and Torn
8. Me in Side
9. Liberate
10. Prosthetics
11. No Life
12. Diluted
13. Only One
14. Scissors

Another heavy metal album, and by now I am certain I have nothing new to say about the genre. I don't think Slipknot has anything new to say either.

Just one more metal album that is a relentless onslaught of noise and yelling, where you can't distinguish one track from the next. Now, I know there are subgenres of metal: Thrash, death, and whatever other ugly word they manage to incarnate. I guess they are blending a lot of those, to make a really unpleasant nu metal album. Hurray for innovation.

Should be avoided at all costs.

RATING: 1/5

841. Dig Your Own Hole

Dig Your Own Hole
The Chemical Brothers
1997

Tracks
1. Block Rockin' Beats
2. Dig Your Own Hole
3. Elektrobank
4. Piku
5. Setting Sun
6. It Doesn't Matter
7. Don't Stop The Rock
8. Get Up On It Like This
9. Lost In The K Hole
10. Where Do I Begin
11. The Private Psychedelic Reel

I have been able to endure the occasional electronica album, but this was something else. Forget "Wannabe." "Elektrobank" has to be the most obnoxious song ever created.

It consists of somebody saying "Who is dis doin' this synthetic type of alpha beta psychedelic funkin'?" so many times, that it broke me. I am not being too hard on myself, I think it would have broken most people. 

I'll be generous and say that I could perhaps see how this music might be mildly tolerable if it was played in a club setting. But it's 2020, so no chance of that happening.

RATING: 1/5

833. Antichrist Superstar

Antichrist Superstar
Marilyn Manson
1996

Tracks

1. Irresponsible Hate Anthem

2. The Beautiful People

3. Dried Up, Tied And Dead To The World

4. Tourniquet

5. Little Horn

6. Cryptorchid

7. Deformography

8. Wormboy

9. Mister Superstar

10. Angel With The Scabbed Wings

11. Kinderfeld

12. Antichrist Superstar

13. 1996

14. Minute Of Decay

15. The Reflecting God

16. Man That You Fear

17. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

18. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

19. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

20. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

21. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

22. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

23. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

24. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

25. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

26. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

27. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

28. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

29. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

30. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

31. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

32. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

33. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

34. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

35. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

36. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

37. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

38. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

39. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

40. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

41. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

42. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

43. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

44. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

45. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

46. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

47. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

48. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

49. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

50. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

51. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

52. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

53. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

54. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

55. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

56. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

57. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

58. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

59. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

60. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

61. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

62. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

63. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

64. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

65. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

66. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

67. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

68. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

69. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

70. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

71. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

72. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

73. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

74. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

75. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

76. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

77. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

78. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

79. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

80. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

81. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

82. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

83. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

84. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

85. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

86. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

87. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

88. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

89. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

90. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

91. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

92. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

93. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

94. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

95. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

96. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

97. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

98. Non-Musical Silence (Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

99. Untitled(Marilyn Manson/Antichrist Superstar)

Just looking at this album cover and track listing tells you how desperate this album is to prise a reaction from its audience. You must really have nothing to say if you need so many distractions from your actual music.

I guess metal isn't shocking to anybody in 1996 so they have to step up their weirdness game. Tracks 17 to 98 are about four seconds long of...nothing. You know you're a quality musician when you have to fill your album with gratuitous silence. I was only familiar with Marilyn Manson from the Bowling for Columbine documentary. He's a well spoken guy, but I still want him out of my face.

I guess the teenage boys who listen to this can feel like they are committing an act of rebellion simply by consuming this. But teenage boys have terrible taste, as evidenced by me never getting a date in high school. 

RATING: 1/5

829. Logical Progression

Logical Progression
L.T.J. Bukem
1996

Tracks

Disc: 1

1. Demons Theme
2. Links
3. Music
4. One and Only
5. Bringing Me Down
6. Dannys Song
7. Vocal Tune
8. Coolin' Out 
9. Western
10. Horizons

Disc: 2

1. Airtight [Remix]
2. New Element
3. Drum in a Grip 
4. Solution
5. In Too Deep
6. So Long
7. Pharaoh
8. After Hours
9. Groove Therapy
10. Mind Games

Is "chill out" music really supposed to be this excruciating? This album was 140 minutes. Honestly, what gives you the right?

This album begins with a sample from Ferris Bueller...and it's all pretty much downhill from there. I guess this is music to be played at sleek hair salons where everybody is sexy and mean. 

There is absolutely no reason why this is has to be 140 minutes. I think this sicko actually padded the length by looping tracks. But that might be my paranoia speaking, after a couple hours of this "music" I was feeling pretty desperate.

RATING: 1/5

821. Roots

Roots
Sepultura
1996

Tracks
1. Roots Bloody Roots
2. Attitude
3. Cut Throat
4. Ratamahatta
5. Breed Apart
6. Straighthate
7. Spit
8. Lookaway
9. Dusted
10. Born Stubborn
11. Jasco
12. Itsari
13. Ambush
14. Endangered Species
15. Dictatorshit
16. Canyon Jam

What did I do to deserve this? I'm a pretty good person who keeps her head down. I never talked loudly during movies, back when going to the movies was still a thing. I don't honk my horn at people driving, even when I should and not doing so is dangerous for both of us. I recycle when it is entirely convenient for me. All I'm trying to say is, I shouldn't have to put up with so much metal.

I really just don't enjoy this style of music. Towards the middle, it started to sound a little more Brazilian, which at least was a little variation. But there was still so much screaming. I could do without the screaming.

Another entirely skippable metal album to throw on the dung heap. 

RATING: 1/5

811. Dr. Octagonecologyst

Dr. Octagonecologyst
Dr. Octagon
1996

Tracks

1. Intro
2. 3000
3. I Got To Tell You
4. Earth People
5. No Awareness
6. Real Raw
7. General Hospital
8. Blue Flowers
9. Technical Difficulties
10. Visit To The Gynecologist
11. Bear Witness
12. Dr. Octagon
13. Girl Let Me Touch You
14. I'm Destructive
15. Wild And Crazy
16. Elective Surgery
17. halfsharkalligatorhalfman
18. Blue Flower
19. Waiting List
20. 1977

Oh for fuck's sake.

Here we have a hip hop concept album, with the concept being that a gynecologist from the year 3000 travels to the present to open up a practice. 

I probably don't have to go into any further detail about why I hated this, do I? I trust this entry speaks for itself, and the track list will answer any further questions you have. Also, "halfsharkalligatorhalfman" has to be the most annoying song in existence.

RATING: 1/5

779. Ready to Die

Ready to Die
Notorious B.I.G.
1994

Tracks
1. Intro
2. Things Done Changed
3. Gimme The Loot
4. Machine Gun Funk
5. Warning
6. Ready To Die
7. One More Chance
8. Fuck Me
9. What
10. Juicy
11. Everyday Struggles
12. Me And My Bitch
13. Big Poppa
14. Respect
15. Friend Of Mine
16. Unbelievable
17. Suicidal Thoughts
18. Who Shot Ya
19. Just Playing (Dreams)

The List continues its eerie trend of featuring artists who were uncomfortably prophetic about their impending demise. Biggie Smalls even has a track called "Who Shot Ya." 

Predictably, I hated this and even more predictably, he had to have a track that was just the sounds of two people having sex. Is that to be funny? Is it to prove to the listener that a woman will actually have sex with him? Fair point, I have difficulty believing it myself. Anyway, it's immature and, at this point on the darkest timeline, not even original. I am surprised this is an East Coast album, it sounds much more West Coast (lyrically speaking).

Just a lot of ego with the usual recommended dosage of misogyny. But at least now I understand a few more Hamilton allusions.

RATING: 1/5

729. Vulgar Display of Power

Vulgar Display of Power
Pantera
1992

Tracks
1. Mouth For War
2. New Level
3. Walk
4. Fucking Hostile
5. This Love
6. Rise
7. No Good (Attack The Radical)
8. Live In A Hole
9. Regular People (Conceit)
10. By Demons Be Driven
11. Hollow

There is way too much metal on the List. I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'll probably mention it on my death bed as well (don't worry, it will be speaking to a larger theme on the futility of life and hope). Yes, I think there is too much hip hop on the List as well, but at least most of those artists are doing something different with the genre, even if I don't like the results. 

This is just more of the same thrashy metal that never sounds original, even when they swap out the words they yell at us. They are just imitating Black Sabbath...and I don't really like Black Sabbath to begin with.

Entirely skippable.

RATING: 1/5

726. Psalm 69

Psalm 69
Ministry
1992

Tracks
1. NWO
2. Just One Fix
3. TV II
4. Hero
5. Jesus Built My Hotrod
6. Scarecrow
7. Psalm 69
8. Corrosion
9. Grace

Good god, did I hate this. I actually had to take a break while listening to it; I literally could not take it anymore about halfway through "TV II." I had to fight my natural instincts of self preservation to turn it on again.

Perhaps the description "industrial metal" will provide you with sufficient information as to why I hated this. If you require further reasoning, I could point you toward the screamed, obnoxious lyrics ("69. 69. 69. 69. 69") or the eight minute long tracks. 

To me, it felt like the music an angry teenage boy would come up with on his quest to become an edgelord. Truly a terrible album.

RATING 1/5

718. The Chronic

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

715. Rage Against the Machine

Rage Against the Machine
Rage Against the Machine
1992

Tracks
1. Bombtrack
2. Killing in the Name
3. Take the Power Back
4. Settle for Nothing
5. Bullet in the Head
6. Know Your Enemy
7. Wake Up
8. Fistful of Steel
9. Township Rebellion
10. Freedom

I think this album is for teenage boys who are attempting to sort through their rage and sexual frustration. Men might like it in their later years because it reminds them of being a teenage boy, or maybe they are still attempting to sort through their rage and sexual frustration and this album helps in some way. Having never been a teenage boy, I didn't enjoy this.

I think rage at a certain point renders you incoherent. That is what this album was to me: musically incoherent. It also felt very repetitive and just plain boring.

So it didn't offend me (maybe it was trying to?), but it didn't really interest me either.

RATING: 1/5

707. Metallica (The Black Album)

Metallica (The Black Album)

Metallica

1991

Tracks

1. Enter Sandman
2. Sad But True
3. Holier Than Thou
4. The Unforgiven
5. Wherever I May Roam
6. Don't Tread On Me
7. Through The Never
8. Nothing Else Matters
9. Of Wolf And Man
10. The God That Failed
11. My Friend Of Misery
12. The Struggle Within

Yet another Metallica offering. I never feel like there is an evolution of sound; to me this feels exactly like the previous Metallica album on this List and I hated that as well.

It's no secret now that I am not a heavy metal fan. I think the lyrics are at best dull and at worst, childish. "Wherever I May Roam" was fairly catchy, but not enough to redeem the rest of this album.

I can't believe Metallica has four entries on this List. I feel like if you listen to one Metallica album you've listened to all of them.

RATING: 1/5

700. Arise

Arise
Sepultra
1991

Tracks
1. Arise
2. Dead Embryonic Cells
3. Desperate Cry
4. Murder
5. Subtraction
6. Altered State
7. Under Siege (Regnum Irae)
8. Meaningless Movements
9. Infected Voice
10. Orgasmatron

700! I wasn't looking forward to listening to an album with a track called "Orgasmatron," but I was looking forward to hitting this milestone. 700 feels like a big one. We can do this people!

Unfortunately, it will take listening to albums like this to reach our goal, with its overly long tracks and boring attempts at being offensive. The thrash metal genre is not my cup of tea. At least the cover art is kind of cool.

Only 301 albums to go!

RATING: 1/5

679. Mama Said Knock You Out

Mama Said Knock You Out
LL Cool J
1990

Tracks
1. The Boomin' System
2. Around The Way Girl
3. Eat Em Up L Chill
4. Mr. Good Bar
5. Murdergram
6. Cheesy Rat Blues
7. Farmers Blvd. (Our Anthem)
8. Mama Said Knock You Out
9. Milky Cereal
10. Jingling Baby (Remixed But Still Jingling)
11. To Da Break Of Dawn - LL Cool J, Marly Marl
12. 6 Minutes Of Pleasure
13. Illegal Search
14. The Power Of God
15. Mama Said Knock You Out

And we're back. Not quite as bad as Ice Cube's violent misogyny but still just more degrading comments about women and self aggrandizing. And a super annoying song about cereal.

I'm sick of wasting time on these guys, so I'll just cut to the chase.

RATING: 0/5

646. Spy vs. Spy: The Music of Ornette Coleman

Spy vs. Spy: The Music of Ornette Coleman
John Zorn
1989

Tracks
1. WRU
2. Chronology
3. Word For Bird
4. Good Old Days
5. Disguise
6. Enfant
7. Rejoicing
8. Blues Connotation
9. C And D
10. Chippie
11. Peace Warriors
12. Ecars
13. Feet Music
14. Broadway Blues
15. Space Church
16. Zig Zag
17. Mob Job

What happens when you combine jazz and punk? Nothing good, apparently, although I probably could have told you that before I listened to forty minutes of this headache inducing album.

This is one of those albums that I think is only present on this List because it fused some genres together that nobody else ever did (for good reason), so it is the only one of its kind. So Listmakers, you got me. I guess technically this is the best jazz punk album I've ever heard. 

Not every genre has to breed for Nayru's sake. The 80s and I might not be parting on the best terms.

RATING: 1/5

627. Tank Battles: The Songs of Hanns Eisler

Tank Battles: The Songs of Hanns Eisler
Dagmar Krause
1988

Tracks
1. Song Of The Whitewash
2. You Have To Pay
3. Ballad Of The Sack Slingers
4. Perhaps Song
5. Mankind
6. Song Of A German Mother
7. Bankenlied
8. Und Endlich Stirbt
9. Mother's Hands
10. Genvieve/Ostern Ist Ball Sur Seine
11. I Read About Tank Battles
12. Chanson Allemande
13. Mother Beimlein
14. Bettellied
15. Change The World It Needs It
16. Failure In Loving
17. Ballad Of (Bourgeois) Welfare
18. Berlin 1919
19. Rat Men The Nightmare
20. Homecoming
21. To A Little Radio
22. Lied Von Der Belebeden Wirkung Des Geldes
23. Legende Von Der Entstehung Des Buches Taoteking
24. And I Shall Never See Again
25. Wise Woman And The Soldier

I have been praising many female vocalists lately so I suppose the List felt obliged to prove to me how insufferable they can be. Point taken.

It's difficult to get a definitive track listing on this one; I think there are a few versions floating around out there. The version I listened to was on YouTube and was well over an hour long, so maybe I could have spared myself some suffering by choosing a shorter release. Is "Mother Beimlein" the creepiest song that ever was?

Well, that was just awful and weird. It sounded like German Propaganda: The Musical. There's nothing to distract you from Krause's harsh vocals, although I did enjoy the songs that were actually in German more. 

Long and grating. A solid yikes.

RATING: 1/5

604. Scum

Scum
Napalm Death
1987

Tracks
1. Multinational Corporations
2. Instinct Of Survival
3. Kill
4. Scum
5. Caught... In A Dream
6. Polluted Minds
7. Sacrificed
8. Siege Of Power
9. Control
10. Born On Your Knees
11. Human Garbage
12. You Suffer
13. Life
14. Prison Without Walls
15. Point Of No Return
16. Negative Approach
17. Success
18. Deceiver
19. CS
20. Parasites
21. Pseudo Youth
22. Divine Death
23. As The Machine Rolls On
24. Common Enemy
25. Moral Crusade
26. Stigmatized
27. MAD
28. Dragnet

Despite that this album has 28 tracks, it is only around 33 minutes, with some of the songs being about 20 seconds long. While it is obviously a relief that this is album is on the shorter side, it's stupid and jarring.

Jarring is the word of this album. Of course, it intends to be jarring and to be as unpleasant as possible. So well done? We could get in an argument about what art is, but I don't think it is as simple as getting a reaction, any reaction. You have my annoyance and disgust, fine. What are you going to do with it?

Creating something beautiful in this world is much harder than creating something ugly. Guess which path Napalm Death chooses!

RATING: 1/5

603. Opus Dei

Opus Dei
Laibach
1987

Tracks
1. Leben Heist Leben
2. Geburt Einer Nation
3. Leben Tod
4. F I A T
5. Opus Dei
6. Trans National
7. How The West Was Won
8. Great Seal

This is some Nazi nonsense right here, I have no idea why the List would include an album that has a swastika on its cover. Now, I understand that the swastika made of axes on the cover was actually designed by an anti Nazi artist, and that this band is ostensibly a parody of fascism. If it makes you uncomfortable, you just don't "get it" or you are, in fact, the fascist. 

I have no idea why anybody find pleasure listening to these industrial, militant songs, all of which sound like they could be the first dance at an orc wedding. Some were in German, but I occasionally caught a line in English being croaked. Let's just say I wasn't blown away by the lyrical quality.

I suppose fans of this album would lament that it went over my head. Hey, I'm fine with that, as long as it doesn't touch me.

RATING: 1/5

510. Black Metal

Black Metal
Venom
1982

Tracks
1. Black Metal
2. To Hell and Back
3. Buried Alive
4. Raise the Dead
5. Teacher's Pet
6. Leave Me in Hell
7. Sacrifice
8. Heaven's on Fire
9. Countess Bathory
10. Don't Burn the Witch
11. At War with Satan

After writing a rant on my book blog and a rant on my movie blog, I thought I would complete the hate tour and complain about this album.  We are really in a bad rut with albums lately.  I hope Bruce Springsteen can save us.

So this is a shitty album, but unlike most of the shitty albums on this List, I understand why it is on here.  It's influential to a genre that I don't particularly enjoy, so I was never going to celebrate it.  Still, I thought I would find at least a little merit in this.  No such luck.  The lyrics are terrible, the songs are repetitive, and the vocalist has so absolutely no range.

Did I mention I hate this?

RATING: 1/5