395. The Modern Dance

Modern Dance
Pere Ubu
1978

Tracks
1. Non-Alignment Pact 
2. Modern Dance 
3. Laughing 
4. Street Waves
5. Chinese Radiation 
6. Life Stinks 
7. Real World 
8. Over My Head 
9. Sentimental Journey 
10. Humor Me

I have written around four thousand movie reviews today, so I am a bit tapped out at the moment.  I really want to catch up all my blogs, though, so my lovely music lovers will just have to suffer with a subpar review.  I apologize that you are my least loved child.

I had never heard of the band, this album, or any of the songs.  I also am not really clear what art punk is.  So gather around everyone, to hear my well informed opinions!

I had a hard time getting into this one.  I had to remind myself to pay attention to the music, because I was in danger of zoning out completely and having absolutely no memory of this album.  Because of my diligent efforts, I am able to partially recall parts of this.  I will take my medal any time you are ready.

With a name like Modern Dance, you might suspect something truly frightening and pretentious.  Instead, you just get something quite mediocre.  For example, here are the lyrics to "Life Stinks": "Life stinks, I'm seeing pink, I can't wink, I can't blink, I like the Kinks, I need a drink, I can't think, I like the Kinks, Life stinks."  At least it made me feel better about my own writing.

RATING: 3/5

394. Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols

Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols
Sex Pistols
1977

Tracks
1. Holidays In The Sun
2. Bodies
3. No Feelings
4. Liar
5. God Save The Queen
6. Problems
7. Seventeen
8. Anarchy In The UK
9. Submission
10. Pretty Vacant
11. New York
12. EMI

I expected this to be the best of the best.  If I was going to have to listen to punk music, this should be the album I listen to.  The Sex Pistols have such name recognition that this has to be fantastic, right?  I was shocked by how mediocre this album actually turned out to be.  

There are plenty of albums on this List that are absolutely revered by a group of followers who generally like leaving nasty comments on this blog.  Even when I can't enjoy them myself, I see something in them that might cause the ecstasy and subsequent pretentious of my fellow listeners.  You know, I kid.  Or perhaps I am brooding.  In any case, the quality of this album simply wasn't that good, and I don't think anyone can defend that.  The vocals  were terrible and the lyrics were merely there for shock value.  I felt like they were trying to distract us from the lack of quality by making a lot of noise.

Perhaps I came into this with too high of expectations and should have just enjoyed it for what it was, without looking for deeper meanings.  Of course, that is what I try to do most of the time and I get yelled at in the comments.  Wow, I am salty today.

RATING: 3/5

393. New Boots and Panties!!

New Boots and Panties!!
Ian Dury
1977

Tracks
1. Wake Up And Make Love With Me
2. Sweet Gene Vincent
3. I'm Partial To Your Abracadabra
4. My Old Man
5. Billericay Dickie
6. Clever Trevor
7. If I Was With A Woman
8. Blockheads
9. Plaistow Patricia
10. Blackmail Man

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have relocated to London.  I am so pleased that this album came along when it did, because this might be the most British-y albums on the List.  Maybe I will mention it on my next pub venture.  It is always fun creating new ways to turn people off.

This album starts with a really creepy song titled "Wake Up and Make Love With Me."  In this song, we learn exactly what it would be like to have sex with Ian Dury.  That is certainly a stone I could have left unturned.  We also learn what he would be like outside of the bedroom with "If I Was With A Woman."  This was possibly even more appalling.

Easily the most obnoxious track was "Clever Trevor."  It sounded like the drunken ramblings of an idiot trying to hit on you at a bar.  However, I still am not going to completely destroy this album.  It truly was atmospheric.  Whether I want to revisit it again is another question.

RATING: 2/5

392. Lust for Life

Lust for Life
Iggy Pop
1977

Tracks
1. Lust For Life
2. Sixteen 
3. Some Weird Sin
4. Passenger 
5. Tonight 
6. Success 
7. Turn Blue 
8. Neighbourhood Threat 
9. Fall In Love With Me

Greetings!  I am writing to all from my new flat in London, where I will be staying for a couple months.  Not only does this mean I might brag more, but it also means I might be learning more about the 1970s music scene during this time.  I plan on visiting Camden this Friday.  So will I have more to say about the albums then "um...the lyrics were okay?"  Stay tuned to find out!

So the lyrics were okay on this album.  Actually, in all seriousness, I thoroughly enjoyed this one.  Like Iggy Pop's previous album, The Idiot, it was produced by David Bowie.  However, it is generally acknowledged that unlike the previous album, it sounds a lot more like Iggy than Starman.  This actually made me enjoy it ten times more than The Idiot.  I am not saying I am a Bowie hater.  In fact, I would never say that on this blog, mostly because of fear for my personal safety.  But the experimental songs just work better with Bowie behind them; they don't fit Iggy's personality as well.

"Passenger" is definitely the most stellar song in the album, but the other tracks don't disappoint.  Sad to see Iggy go.


RATING: 4/5

391. My Aim Is True

My Aim Is True
Elvis Costello
1977

Tracks
1. Welcome to the Working Week 
2. Miracle Man 
3. No Dancing 
4. Blame It on Cain 
5. Alison 
6. Sneaky Feelings
7. (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes 
8. Less Than Zero 
9. Mystery Dance 
10. Pay It Back 
11. I'm Not Angry 
12. Waiting for the End of the World

If this is what punk is, I have been seriously misguided before.  This was one of the best albums I have ever listened to.  This is embarrassing, but at one point I had to just get up and dance.  I stopped rather quickly.  For one thing, I am a terrible dancer.  For another, it felt like I was trying to prove to myself that I was a free spirit.  The point is, every album on the List should make me embarrass myself like that.

I had only ever heard "The Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes" before.  This is a great track, but I actually have completely fallen in love with the ballad "Alison."  Of course, there are some political messages for even the most pretentious music lover.

One of the best albums out there and worthy of repeated listens.

RATING: 5/5

390. Bat Out Of Hell

Bat Out Of Hell
Meatloaf
1977

Tracks
1. Bat Out Of Hell
2. You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth
3. Heaven Can Wait
4. All Revved Up With No Place To Go
5. Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad
6. Paradise By The Dashboard Light
7. For Crying Out Loud

I certainly wouldn't have recognized this album for the joke that it is if I hadn't been following The List chronologically.  "You Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth" really does sound like one of the pretentious prog rock songs that we have forced to listen to.  Luckily, once you realize it is a joke, it is actually pretty funny.  It is a joke, right?

I had only heard "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" before.  It's a damn good song, although watching Meat Loaf perform it was kind of disturbing.  Who gave Peter Pettigrew a microphone?

So novelty albums usually make me cringe, but this was actually a fun break from the hard core "masterpieces."

RATING: 4/5

389. Marquee Moon

Marquee Moon
Television
1977

Tracks
1. See No Evil 
2. Venus 
3. Friction 
4. Marquee Moon 
5. Elevation 
6. Guiding Light 
7. Prove It 
8. Torn Curtain

This seems to be one of those albums that very few people have heard of.  If you have heard of it, you are a music aficionado and you probably praise it like it is the last voicemail a deceased loved one left you.  As for me, it didn't leave much of an impression, proving once again that I am more out of place here than a sober person at Woodstock.  I wanted to cover my ignorance here first so the insults in the comments section could branch out a bit.  I try to be considerate of my readers.

I was surprised to see that this was considered punk.  It certainly didn't sound as intense as I am used to in that genre.  I did enjoy this, but can we stop with the ten minute songs?  Let's wrap it up here fellas.  I appreciate stamina as much as the next woman, but this is verging on ridiculous.

So another album that I feel rather stupid for not enjoying very much.  But take heart, fellow List followers.  An Elvis Costello album is coming up.

RATING: 4/5