575. EVOL

EVOL
Sonic Youth
1986

Tracks
1. Tom Violence
2. Shadow of a Doubt
3. Star Power
4. In the Kingdom #19
5. Green Light
6. Death to Our Friends
7. Secret Girls
8. Marilyn Moore
9. Expressway to Yr. Skull

So even this genre's champions have to concede that the sound is more similar to noise than music, hence the label "noise rock." 

There's one Sonic Youth song I really like, "Catholic Block" but it's not on this album. This certainly wasn't the worst thing I've ever heard, but I thought it was without form and without tune.  A couple weren't so bad, but for the most part, the album was grating.

I hope you enjoyed our brief respite from heavy metal. But worry not, because Paul Simon and XTC are on the horizon.

RATING: 2/5

574. Slippery When Wet

Slippery When Wet
Bon Jovi
1986

Tracks
1. Let It Rock
2. You Give Love A Bad Name
3. Livin On A Prayer
4. Social Disease
5. Wanted Dead Or Alive
6. Raise Your Hands
7. Without Love
8. I'd Die For You
9. Never Say Goodbye
10. Wild In The Streets

I have read some scathing reviews about this album, decrying Bon Jovi and declaring that it is music for the lowest common denominator. As the lowest common denominator, I fully expected to love this album. And I was a little disappointed.

I was recently at a bowling party for a friend that was celebrating his 24th birthday and, incidentally, was a total sausage fest. As I stood paralyzed by social anxiety in the corner, as per yoozh, I observed that every time somebody reached a score of 69, the subsequent announcement caused a stir in the crowd. All of the men in the area were delighted, either with joy or amusement, I'm not sure (those emotions are so foreign to me in a party setting that I have difficulty identifying them). I bring this up because Jon Bon Jovi was 24 when he made this album and um, this is the mindset we are dealing with.

The name of the album was inspired by a stripper the band saw, and "Social Disease" starts with pornographic sounds for seemingly no reason at all. I actually liked a couple songs, or at least, parts of songs, and "Livin' On a Prayer" is damn catchy. But I don't think Jon Bon Jovi has tapped into anything really special here, and his best moments are when he is imitating the Boss. 

In other words, he just didn't get deep enough. Note, if you thought "that's what she said," this album might be for you.

RATING: 3/5

573. Peace Sells... But Who's Buying

Peace Sells...But Who's Buying
Megadeth
1986

Tracks
1. Wake Up Dead
2. The Conjuring
3. Peace Sells
4. Devil's Island
5. Good Mourning / Black Friday
6. Bad Omen
7. I Ain't Superstitious
8. My Last Words

Oy, more metal. As heavy metal albums show up on this list with alarming frequency, it might be fun to turn it into some kind of drinking game. But that would no doubt kill me, and I really want to live long enough to hear Taylor Swift's next album. So we must soldier on, soberly and stoically.

So this was...another metal album. It is certainly not the worst I have ever heard and at least the songs were shorter, so you know Megadeth is less self indulgent than most. Still, not my favorite genre. I can Black Sabbath and maybe some Iron Maiden. And that's it.

Next up, Bon Jovi!

RATING: 2/5